The Ineffectiveness Of Revenge After Divorce

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The Ineffectiveness Of Revenge After Divorce

“I was really upset. I was staying up all night drinking white wine, crying, and watching those stupid infomercials on TV. Then I got an idea to start ordering whatever I saw on TV and sending it to Gary.

I sent him all kinds of commemorative Elvis plates, weird kitchen gadgets, ugly knickknacks, and soft rock CDs. I also started signing him up for these women’s craft magazines (that are virtually impossible to cancel).” Linda Sunshine, She’s Just That Into You… The No Excuses Truth About Women’s Obsessions With Men

The Hard Reality

There is a lot in Linda Sunshine’s book that I would not recommend as sound advice or worth your time. But the quote above is a hilarious, and accurate look at the ridiculous things we do do during a midlife divorce to try to get revenge on someone who has definitely moved on.

The sad truth is that this woman followed through on a prank that most likely ended up costing her a fortune and probably didn’t affect her ex in the slightest. Well… maybe it did cause him some minor inconveniences for him. But most likely it just gave him and his girlfriend or his friends a good laugh (at her expense).

Leave It To God

Unfortunately, though stunts like this may make us temporarily feel better, they don’t change anything. And they usually just make us look ridiculous, and like we are absolutely falling apart without him. The truth is, we probably are falling apart at times, and that is okay. But we’ve got to move on. We must let him go.

And revenge never works! That’s God’s job. The most effective revenge is to turn the situation over to Him. And God always follows through on His promises so you can just cross “get revenge” off your ‘to-do’ list.

Our attempts to avenge the wrongs done to us are not only ineffective, but they also make us look weak and pathetic, and keep us from focusing on our own journey.

The more effort you waste trying to get even yourself, the less that is being put toward your healing. Be confident, be kind, act above his bad behavior, and look forward to your new future with anticipation.

“Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. ‘I’ll do the judging,’ says God. ‘I’ll take care of it.'” ~ Romans 12:19 (The Message)

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By |May 30th, 2017|Christian Divorce|Comments Off on The Ineffectiveness Of Revenge After Divorce

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she’s been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.