“As with language, so with life: Less is often more. The quality of life is marked by what you can do without and still do well. The best things in life aren’t things. Simplify. Thoreau subscribed to this line of thinking. So did Buddha, Lao-tzu, and Jesus.”
Robert Fulghum, Author of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.
It’s hard not to worry. Especially when your financial situation after your divorce has most likely presented more than a few challenges … and for some of you has brought real financial hardship. It can seem like a real come down when your standard of living drops dramatically and suddenly. I think sometimes it’s harder to give things up once you have become accustomed to them. But this may be a chance to refine our thinking … to take our life understanding to a higher and more true level. Continue reading
“When we are frantic and feel particularly rushed, we can stop and ask,’Rushing for What?’” From Plain and Simple Wisdom by Sue Bender
Okay, Thanksgiving was just over. This year we have fewer days ’til Christmas. I woke up at 3:15 a.m. this morning fretting. I don’t know about you, but I have a problem. It’s the problem of always seeming too busy, and this year, especially all the fall and winter holidays seem pressed together. Maybe you feel like that’s a good thing for this particular year …. get them all over in one fell swoop and then start fresh January 1.
Plus, during a divorce, you are suddenly inundated with new stuff you are responsible for. It used to be that maybe he took care of the cars, or carrying the decorations up from the basement, or paying the bills or something. Now, you have to take care of all of your jobs and his jobs and maybe you are also going back to school or getting back into the 9:00 – 5:00 workplace again. Divorce is exhausting for lots of reasons. And add the “celebrations” and it’s overwhelming. Continue reading
“Optimism leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller
Well, everyone made it through Thanksgiving. The day ticked away and now it’s over. Regardless of how much you dreaded it or looked forward to it or endured it, or celebrated it, it’s over. That’s how life is. The world keeps turning, a great ball in space regardless of what personal challenges we’re facing.
People all over this big earth faced innumerable challenges yesterday, and many are still facing them today … many much worse than ours … perhaps life threatening. We know that in almost all of the cases like ours, we survive. Others around the world (and even in our own little world) may not be so fortunate. How we each choose to deal with our own personal challenges makes our trip easier or harder. We can choose to go along with life’s parade with a sense of bold optimism, or we can sit in our room and feel sorry for ourselves. Continue reading
“Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity.” Sarah Young.
Please don’t stop reading this because you think no amount of pretending or mind games or positive thinking can take the sting out of your divorce. Keep reading and then try the exchange that is suggested. Keep practicing it through this whole “Thanksgiving” weekend.
This is something I read this morning in a little book by Sarah Young. I think it’s perfect for every day, but especially around this holiday of giving thanks and especially if you’re going through divorce. Giving thanks is particularly difficult to do if this is your first holiday after the divorce and your children are with your wasband (and maybe his girlfriend/girlfiend) on this day. (I cried all the way to my parents’ house my first Thanksgiving by myself.) You may be spending the holiday by yourself or with your parents and family or with friends. Whatever the circumstances that surround this time of Thanksgiving, think about the words below. They are true. The transaction they represent never fails. If you do nothing else these next few days, practice this even though you think nothing can bring you joy during this life change of divorce: Continue reading