Divorce and Security

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Divorce and Security

“Our obsessions with security and our striving for permanence contradict the very principles of life itself.” ~ Doris Helge, Ph.D.  Author of Transforming Pain into Power.

If you are in the process of a midlife divorce, you are definitely feeling a loss of security and are probably wondering if anything at all is permanent. We thought our marriages were permanent. We thought our wasband’s love was permanent. But it turns out they weren’t.

I disagree with Dr. Helge, that our desire for security and permanence contradicts the principles of life itself. In fact, we are created, among other things, to desire security. But I think we often look for permanence in the wrong places.

No person, no relationship, no physical reality, no sensate, or visible thing is permanent. Life itself is the epitome of insecurity.  Change, as Dr. Hulge says, is the reality of life. And I agree that your whole external life can change in the blink of an eye. But there is one ultimate security: God. God the creator is the only thing that is permanent, as is His unchanging, eternal love for us. That’s it. If we put our trust or our security in anything else, we will always be disappointed.

Not only can we depend on God for security, but we can depend on His promises. And one of those promises is that He will take every single impermanence of life and transform it into a blessing for our good. That is the kind of rock-solid assurance I desire.  That is the guarantee that God alone can provide. Let’s all live this one day — today — fully allowing ourselves to be embraced by the complete security of God and His eternal love for us. Let’s see if that doesn’t give us a different outlook on our situation.

“He said to me: ‘It’s done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him (or her) who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.” ~ Revelation 21:6 (NIV)

 

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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