“To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.” ~ Angelina Jolie
Because Father’s Day is this weekend, many of you are probably dealing with feelings of guilt and sadness about what has been lost in your children’s lives. One important thing to remember, however, is that it’s not your responsibility to “fix” Father’s Day for your wasband.
You most likely have spent many Father’s Days making sure every thing was perfect for your husband; encouraging your children to do things to make their fathers feel loved and appreciated. That’s not your responsibility now, especially if your children are grown. I think it is perfectly appropriate for divorced mothers with young children to help their children express wishes to their father, but once your children are older, as most of ours are, that is their decision. You need to be detached from that as much as possible.
Today, concentrate on your own father. Your Dad. My Dad died in January. The week before he died I got to spend some time with him and I had a chance to tell him directly just how important he had been in my life. I listed many things that had been meaningful throughout the years. I’m not sure he understood what I said, but in my heart I think he did. If your father is still alive, call him, write him a letter (he won’t mind if it’s a few days late) or tell him face to face how important he is to you. If you need to, fix things that are mendable with your own father.
Lastly, don’t fret if your children want to spend time with their father. Let them know that you are okay whatever they decide. Your children are probably struggling with figuring out all sorts of new issues, so make that as easy as you can for them. If you’re a God person, spend some time with Him. He is the Father who will never fail you… or your children.
“A righteous man who walks in integrity — how blessed are his sons (children) after him.” ~ Proverbs 20:7 (NASB)