“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Not long ago, I blogged about a book I found of my Dad’s entitled Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Becoming One of Them. The author’s main claim is that people don’t start out being nasty, but they are capable of doing nasty things.
“Keeping The Peace”
Too often women don’t say what they should in an effort to “keep the peace.” But in relationships, we can’t be afraid to speak up and speak out, especially when boundaries are crossed. When we allow someone to consistently do nasty things to us, they gain more control over us.
One thing I have learned is that it doesn’t do any good to let people do hurtful things to you, without voicing your displeasure or confronting the issues, until a satisfactory conclusion is reached. Though many of us do this.
For example, if someone does or says something nasty to us before a party, we usually let it slide instead of immediately confronting it, because of the effect a full-blown discussion could have on the evening. And then we’re hesitant to bring it up later because we don’t want to “rock the boat.”
Let Your Voice Be Heard
As uncomfortable as it may be, it is always best for you, your partner and your relationship not to let things build up. Even though you (wisely) may not respond immediately, you should do so within 24 hours. I realize now that in my marriage to my wasband, I was more interested in keeping things in the family on an even keel than addressing issues that warranted a serious discussion.
We should not be on edge every minute waiting for something to be upset about, or become too sensitive about the give and take of relationships. But when our personal boundaries are crossed, we should confidently, and respectfully make our feelings known.
“So chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength; discipline.” ~ Colossians 3:12 (The Message)