How to get what you want during divorce

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How to get what you want during divorce

“Life Lesson #3:  There is no rational reason to remain a pessimist in a world that is full of so many miracles.”  Karen Salmansohn in Enough, Dammit – A cynics guide to finally getting what you want out of life 

Whether you, like me, believe in a personal, loving, caring God or not, there are miracles in this universe everywhere you turn.  Think about it.  A seed put in the ground in the spring is a bright red radish on your plate in the summer.  Really, take a minute to ponder that.

A great night of love and pure passionate sex can result in a brand new human life who laughs and thinks and brings your great joy.  A little given can return to bless you a hundred times over.  Those are all real-true-unquestioned miracles.  What else would you call them?

When we believe in the transcendent power of the universe to bring us what we desire, miracles happen.  On the other side of the coin is the fact that if we think, “Nothing ever works out for me.  I will never be happy again.  My life is over,”  those thoughts are self-fulfilling, too.

Pessimistic thoughts always, always bring about pessimistic results.  I know that often during my own divorce recovery journey, I have been pessimistic.  In the beginning I honestly thought I would never be happy again.  I even asked my counselor.  “Tell me the truth.  Is anyone ever really happy again after something like this?”

I thought my life would somehow always be sort of second-rate.  I thought my children would be forever scarred and traumatized.  And the whole time I was thinking like that, my life stayed in a place I didn’t want to be.  My pessimistic thoughts, as they always do, bred pessimistic actions and then pessimistic results.

So, just for today, let’s put aside all pessimistic thoughts.  Let’s try it just for this one day.  You have the ability to think what you want to think.  You have control of where your mind focuses today.  See what happens when you decide to notice the miracles (even simple, everyday wonders we so often overlook).  I think you’ll discover that miracles start showing up all over the place.  Some of them have been there all along and we just didn’t notice.   Some show up when we give them permission. If we want miracles, we have to open our eyes to see them.

” God has always shown us that these messages are true by signs and wonders and various miracles … ”  Hebrews 2:4a (The Living Bible)

By |February 19th, 2014|Today's Blog|Comments Off on How to get what you want during divorce

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.