"Our obsessions with security and our striving for permanence contradict the very principles of life itself."  Doris Helge, Ph.D.  Author of Transforming Pain into Power.

If you are in the process of a midlife divorce you are definitely feeling a loss of security and you are probably wondering if anything at all is permanent.  We thought our marriages were permanent.  We thought our wasband's love was permanent.  We thought our family was secure.  They weren't.  But I disagree with Dr. Helge that our desire for security and permanence contradicts the principles of life itself.  In fact, we are created among other things to desire security, and our life force continually strives after self preservation.  But I think we often look for permanence in the wrong places.  No person, no relationship, no physical reality, no sensate, visible thing is permanent.  Life itself is the epitome of insecurity.  Change, as Dr. Hulge says, is the reality of life.  And I agree that your whole external life can change in the blink of an eye.  But there is one ultimate security: The only thing that is permanent is the creator God, the Indwelling Spirit, and his unchanging, eternal love for us.  That's it.  If we put our trust or our security in anything else, we will always be disappointed.  But, on the other hand we can be like David of old who said that even though the mountains tumbled into the sea, still God was his refuge.  Not only can we, too, depend on God who is the Alpha and the Omega, but we can also depend completely on his promises.  And one of those promises is that he will take every single impermanence of life and transform it into a blessing for our good and his glory. That's the kind of confidence I desire.  That's the guarantee God alone provides.  Let's all live this one day -- today -- fully allowing ourselves to be embraced by the complete security of God and his eternal love for us.  Let's feel the empowerment and peace that reality brings to our situation.   

"He said to me: 'It's done.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  To him (or her) who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life."   Revelation 21:6 (NIV)