Daily R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Thought for R.A.D.I.C.A.L Women

A daily insight and encouragement

for any woman going through a midlife divorce

Our goal is not just recovery, but life transformation. Make reading this daily inspiration part of your morning ritual. It will be updated Monday through Friday. What we think we become, so read this blog and keep your mind filled with good thoughts. We get to choose what our day will be. So let's sparkle, shine and glow today regardless of what challenges we face!


Jun 15
2010

Beware of Flamenco Dancers

Posted by: FriskyRidgewood

"Never get involved with a flamenco dancer, no matter how gorgeous, whether he is from New Jersey or Peru."
From Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer and Other Lessons from the Real/Real World by Adair Lara

 Some of you may be at the point of starting to think about a new relationship. Some of you may be so lonely that you might get into a relationship that you know you shouldn't. Some may be at the point where, as one woman in my first R.A.D.I.C.A.L. group said, you "would like to just put a bag over your head and a bag over some guy's head and just have a good 'night in bed!'” (--not her exact phrase!) I was married for 33 years. That usually meant sex whenever I wanted it. (I realize “sex-on-demand” isn’t always the case and especially when other parts of the relationship aren’t working.)  But when you are suddenly divorced, you hunger for that part of a relationship. You miss not just sex, but the companionship. The physical sharing. The closeness. Normal, natural, every-day skin time. A psychologist who spoke on grieving at one of my boot camps indicated that women tend to fill up that lonely void with either, eating, spending or relationships. Common sense and the sad experiences of other women prove that "rebound" relationships or relationships based on physical attraction alone can bring unwanted consequences. Get yourself strong and confident first. Enjoy platonic relationships. Go to dinner with friends. Have coffee. But stay away from the flamenco dancers, the bar frogs, all the guys 'on the make.' In our new situation, sometimes they are tempting ... but stay alert. Don't get into a situation that will not be good for you. You're just recovering from that. Take your time. Use good judgment. Forgive me if I sound like a dorm mother, but if it will save you heartache, I'm willing to sound any way I need to.

"Keep your eyes open for spiritual danger ..."
I Corinthians 16:13a (The Living Bible)

 

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