This is my blog from one year ago today.  Jenny Sanford has acted (at least in public) with grace, integrity and admirable character.  The last I heard, Mark (The Governor of South Carolina until January) and his "soul mate" are trying to figure out if they have a future together.  What sad, pathetic figures they both are.  They deserve each other.  Here's what I had to say in my blog last year on July 1st:

“This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story.” Statement by Mark Sanford reported in the Wall Street Journal this morning. 

If it weren’t so pathetic, that statement would make me laugh.  Because I spend 12-14 hours a day helping midlife women who are picking up the pieces after divorces caused by men like Mark Sanford, his statement above makes me want to throw up.  First of all, there is no such thing as a simple affair.  It sounds like Mark had a few “simple” affairs as he calls them as well as his suddenly not-so-simple affair with Ms. Chapur.  Maybe a simple affair is when you screw someone you’re not married to and just mess up her life and her children’s lives and go on your merry way.  Maybe “simple” affairs are those one-night stands in motels or fancy hotels when you’re out of town and you don’t get caught.  You call home and talk to the kids and check in with the wife then you meet someone at the bar or as Sanford did at an open-air dance spot, and after a few Margaritas you start creating your soul mate. “Like I just love her sooooo much….like she’s my soul mate like we talked for four hours on the phone and we sneak behind the bleachers and kiss and she has texted me 20 times already this morning… like I’m going to quit school and run away with her because her parents don’t approve and we’ll be so happy even if we have to live in a trailer and even if I never see my parents again ….”  Isn’t that the feeling you get when you read about Mark Sanford?  It’s almost comedic how many of these men, say things like Mr. Sanford said and do ridiculous things like he did.  Leaving work undone at the office for a “quickie” in the back seat of the car.  Calling on the phone dozens of times a day.  Putting children and careers and every honorable thing in the trash for this “fix” to their inflated egos. I’m sorry, but reading this sorry saga keeps making me depressed. And the women who are the mistresses are embarrassing, too.  But they both will continue to say, “This is my soul mate.  This is my true love.” as if that makes every sorry thing they did okay.  Then after the fake glow wears off, if they get married they divorce at a rate of 3 out of 4. Then they are on to a new “light of their lives” while wives and children who are left behind try to figure out the rest of their lives after this humiliation.  Here’s one thing I want to say.  If this is how your wasband behaved, you deserve better.  You will find that there are good men who know what a real “love story” is.  It’s making choices every single day for the good of the person you say you love.  Women who have been left, like Jenny Sanford and those on this site, must grieve the loss of your dreams and the change in the family you helped create.  Grieve the new challenges your children will face because of their father's actions. Then put your head up and your shoulders back and create the new life you and your children deserve. Remember, men who behave like this have no clue what a real “love story” is. You now can teach your family and friends about real love (and the choices that go along with that) with renewed power and credibility.  This situation gives you a chance to shine God's light more brightly than ever.  Take advantage of it!

“Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.”  Ephesians 5:28