“As times get tougher, complaining is starting to look more like a blood sport than a coping mechanism.” ~ Elizabeth Bernstein, Wall Street Journal
Comparing Our Tragedies
More and more people are complaining about their lot in life. We “one-up” a friend or acquaintance who mentions she’s had a hard day, or her job is terrible, or her spouse is clueless.
Midlife divorce is horrendous, and in our opinion, worse than the situation of just about anyone we come in contact with. Our married friends complain their husband won’t take out the trash. Friends vent that they have to give up their weekly manicure. (Really!?)
We think to ourselves, “If they had any idea of what I’m facing, they wouldn’t be complaining! My wasband is taking his girlfriend to the Bahamas instead of me! I have to sell my house, try to find a job to make ends meet, tell my kids we don’t have money for college this fall, and take care of absolutely every life detail on my own now.”
Dealing With Our Divorce Frustrations
In the middle of this unwanted journey, we have a right to complain. We need to talk about it to heal. It is healthy to openly share our frustrations with our therapist or a divorce recovery coach or a support group. But what if, instead of making every conversation about our hardships, we tried to spend more of our day focusing on our blessings.
Today, let’s listen to everyone else’s tale of woe and then reply with an encouraging thought or a suggestion of gratitude for something. Try saying only uplifting, positive words and see what a difference it makes. Make it your goal to build others (and yourself) up.
“Do everything without complaining and arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe.” ~ Philippians 2:14-15 (NIV)