Rule #1 for getting out of the hole after divorce

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Rule #1 for getting out of the hole after divorce

 

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.”  From Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer by Adair Lara

Sometimes divorce is like one big giant hole, and you are in there digging away … and if you’re like me, probably sobbing harder and harder the deeper you go.  The message of the picture above is   STOP DIGGING!  

Think about this:  While you’re digging in your dirty, cramped, slimy hole, your wasband and his girlfiend are probably out having a wonderful time somewhere.  You can’t do one single solitary thing about that.  But you can get out of your hole.  You can start creating your own wonderful time.

At the first of my divorce journey, I was just so incredibly sad about the whole thing I could hardly function.  Eventually, I started getting mad.  I thought, “He can do whatever ugly, selfish, hurtful, abominable thing he wants to do, but I’m not going to let his bad behavior ruin my life.  He is the one who should be in the hole, not me!”  And do you know what?  He will be eventually.

As much as it seems like his life is all sweetness and light, God always holds everyone accountable for his or her actions and sets the record straight.  If you have a Bible, read the whole chapter of Psalm 37.  One part reads like this:

“A little while and wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.  Not a man, not a mouse slips through the cracks.”  The catch to that verse is that it applies to you, and me, too.  Don’t be brought down by someone else’s actions.

Stand up!  Trust God!  Do right!  Stop digging in that hole and be the person God made you to be.  Let God take care of putting people in their proper places.  He will. So stop worrying about that, and just make sure you are not still digging in a pit of no return!  Stand in the light!  Shine like the noonday sun!

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.”  Psalm 37:5-6

By |February 17th, 2014|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Rule #1 for getting out of the hole after divorce

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.