divorce healing

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The Power of Dignity During Divorce

“Dignity, in fact, is invariably the mask to assume under difficult circumstances: It is as if nothing can affect you, and you have all the time in the world to respond. This is an extremely powerful pose.” ~ The 14 Laws of Power by Robert Green and Joose Elfers During my midlife divorce, there were times [...]

Being who we really are after divorce

“Growing as wild women involves breaking out of cages, boxes, stereotypes, categories, and captivity. It involves standing tall, laughing loudly, and being who we really are.” ~ SARK, Author of  Succulent Wild Woman Growing is uncomfortable and often feels perilous. And the deep-level of rejection we experience in a midlife divorce can make the process really [...]

Watch the Fireworks – Divorce or No Divorce

In the middle of my divorce, sometimes I wanted to just go unconscious. I was in so much pain I was having trouble dealing with the reality of what was happening. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up and it would all be resolved. Here's a quote from Marianne Williamson that's so appropriate [...]

Beware of Flamenco Dancers

Be patient after separation and divorce. Don’t get involved in another relationship too soon. It can lead to more disastrous consequences besides waking up with a rose in your teeth! “Never get involved with a flamenco dancer, no matter how gorgeous, whether he is from New Jersey or Peru.”  From Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer Some of you may be at the point of starting to think about a new relationship after your divorce. Some of you may be so lonely that you might get into a relationship that you know you shouldn’t. Some may be at the point where you, as one woman in my first RADiCAL group said, “I would like to just put a bag over my head and a bag over some guy’s head and just have a good ‘night in bed!’ (–not her exact phrase!) I was married for 33 years. That meant sex whenever I wanted it. But when you are suddenly divorced, you hunger for that part of a relationship. The companionship. The physical sharing. The closeness. Normal, natural, every-day wonderful sex. […]

By |August 22nd, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Beware of Flamenco Dancers

Fun, optimism and intense rapid regrowth

No matter what happens in life, our future is our decision. We can make it as wonderful or as miserable as we want. What’s our choice? Start today living your vision! “The wounds I received, I got in a job I love, doing it for people I love, supporting the freedom of a country I deeply love.  I am incredibly tough and will have a full recovery.”  Jason Redman, Navy SEAL shot eight times in Fallujah, Iraq Here’s the rest of what Jason put on the door of his room at Bethesda Naval Hospital:  “My hospital room is a place of ‘fun, optimism, and intense rapid regrowth.  If you are not prepared for that, GO ELSEWHERE.”  He signed it, “The management.” We need that attitude.  Even though Jason got terrible wounds that required 37 surgeries, Jason did not agonize over the fact that he gave his best efforts to something he loved and believed in, and was hurt doing it.  We all gave ourselves and our best efforts to our marriages and we got hurt.  Is our attitude like Jason’s?  “I am incredibly tough and will have a full recovery.”  Do we have the attitude, my life is going to be a place of “fun, optimism, and intense rapid regrowth.”?   […]

By |August 8th, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Fun, optimism and intense rapid regrowth

Musak and Divorce

“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak might be thinking up something else.” Lily Tomlin I have a women’s quote book called Women’s Lip: Outrageous, irreverent and just plain hilarious quotes. Some of them are not appropriate even for this RADiCAL Blog. Some aren’t appropriate for other reasons. But the Lily Tomlin quote made me think about the fact that MUSAK was designed to not offend anybody. It was supposed to be noncommittal, non-threatening, sort of white noise. Just something to take up space inoffensively. I don’t want music like that. I DON’T WANT A LIFE LIKE THAT! […]

By |July 9th, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Musak and Divorce

Try this today – it’s so worth it

A simple act of kindness can change someone’s day. Try it today and see what happens. It’s amazing, addicting and it makes life sparkle in all kinds of ways! “Life would be much more exciting if each of us left a trail of ‘little sparks of appreciation’ along our way.” David Dunn, author of Try Giving Yourself Away It’s so simple to show appreciation. Look at all the people you come in contact with in a day. They are all human beings like you with problems, sorrows, joys, frustrations. You have no idea the obstacles and challenges they may be facing every day. What a difference it makes to simply be appreciative and try to connect with another real live person. […]

Ready to date? teleconference

You may not feel ready to date yet, but to get some great information for future use, take a look at this upcoming telesummit. "There is no better time for your new beginning. If not now, then when? We are each caretakers of our new beginnings." SARK Sometimes new beginnings are forced on [...]

Enough is Enough

Guest Blog:  The most important thing that has helped me heal from the pain of my divorce: knowing I am enough.  The hardest issue for me in my divorce was my feeling that my wasband chose not to work on our relationship but to leave me because I was not enough. That if I had been [...]

After the Explosion of Divorce

“Watch. Wait. Time will unfold and fulfill its purpose. While we wait, we must not go unconscious. We must think and grow.  Rejoice and dream, kneel and pray.” ~ Marianne Williamson In the middle of my divorce, sometimes I wanted to just go unconscious. I was in so much pain I was having trouble dealing [...]