Midlife Divorce Recovery Blog

Watch the Fireworks – Divorce or No Divorce

In the middle of my divorce, sometimes I wanted to just go unconscious. I was in so much pain I was having trouble dealing with the reality of what was happening. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up and it would all be resolved.

Here’s a quote from Marianne Williamson that’s so appropriate […]

By |July 3rd, 2015|Today's Blog|0 Comments

Beware of Flamenco Dancers

“Never get involved with a flamenco dancer, no matter how gorgeous, whether he is from New Jersey or Peru.”  From Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer

Some of you may be at the point of starting to think about a new relationship after your divorce. Some of you may be so lonely that you might get into a relationship that you know you shouldn’t. Some may be at the point where you, as one woman in my first RADiCAL group said, “I would like to just put a bag over my head and a bag over some guy’s head and just have a good ‘night in bed!’ (–not her exact phrase!) I was married for 33 years. That meant sex whenever I wanted it. But when you are suddenly divorced, you hunger for that part of a relationship. The companionship. The physical sharing. The closeness. Normal, natural, every-day wonderful sex. […]

By |August 22nd, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Beware of Flamenco Dancers

Fun, optimism and intense rapid regrowth

“The wounds I received, I got in a job I love, doing it for people I love, supporting the freedom of a country I deeply love.  I am incredibly tough and will have a full recovery.”  Jason Redman, Navy SEAL shot eight times in Fallujah, Iraq

Here’s the rest of what Jason put on the door of his room at Bethesda Naval Hospital:  “My hospital room is a place of ‘fun, optimism, and intense rapid regrowth.  If you are not prepared for that, GO ELSEWHERE.”  He signed it, “The management.”

We need that attitude.  Even though Jason got terrible wounds that required 37 surgeries, Jason did not agonize over the fact that he gave his best efforts to something he loved and believed in, and was hurt doing it.  We all gave ourselves and our best efforts to our marriages and we got hurt.  Is our attitude like Jason’s?  “I am incredibly tough and will have a full recovery.”  Do we have the attitude, my life is going to be a place of “fun, optimism, and intense rapid regrowth.”?   […]

By |August 8th, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Fun, optimism and intense rapid regrowth

For Yourself

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Bill Cosby

Women tend to be people pleasers.  We want everyone to like us.  We worry about what people think.  But at my very first Midlife Divorce Recovery Bootcamp, the first presenter, Dr. Barrie Arachtingi, a counselor and friend, made a comment that made everyone laugh, but it made me ponder, too. She said certain hormone activity during menopause has a beneficial effect. It makes us less concerned about what people think! That’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned. […]

By |July 10th, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on For Yourself

Musak and Divorce

“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak might be thinking up something else.”
Lily Tomlin

I have a women’s quote book called Women’s Lip: Outrageous, irreverent and just plain hilarious quotes. Some of them are not appropriate even for this RADiCAL Blog. Some aren’t appropriate for other reasons. But the Lily Tomlin quote made me think about the fact that MUSAK was designed to not offend anybody. It was supposed to be noncommittal, non-threatening, sort of white noise. Just something to take up space inoffensively. I don’t want music like that. I DON’T WANT A LIFE LIKE THAT! […]

By |July 9th, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Musak and Divorce