late life divorce

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Grow or Die After Divorce

"However troublesome changes may be as we are living through them, we are almost always surprised in retrospect at the positive outcomes these negative situations bring." ~ Dennis Wholey in The Miracle of Change Midlife divorce is more than troublesome. It's almost funny to think of it as so. All the changes I was forced [...]

Divorce, menopause and what’s next

Okay, here we are.  Somewhere in the middle of our life and in the middle of a divorce.  (Before we get any farther, let's realize that the definition of midlife is in flux and can be anywhere from 35 - 75 because of lots of things that are happening culturally.  I have had women from 32 to 77 [...]

By |June 25th, 2014|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Divorce, menopause and what’s next

Beware of Flamenco Dancers

Be patient after separation and divorce. Don’t get involved in another relationship too soon. It can lead to more disastrous consequences besides waking up with a rose in your teeth! “Never get involved with a flamenco dancer, no matter how gorgeous, whether he is from New Jersey or Peru.”  From Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer Some of you may be at the point of starting to think about a new relationship after your divorce. Some of you may be so lonely that you might get into a relationship that you know you shouldn’t. Some may be at the point where you, as one woman in my first RADiCAL group said, “I would like to just put a bag over my head and a bag over some guy’s head and just have a good ‘night in bed!’ (–not her exact phrase!) I was married for 33 years. That meant sex whenever I wanted it. But when you are suddenly divorced, you hunger for that part of a relationship. The companionship. The physical sharing. The closeness. Normal, natural, every-day wonderful sex. […]

By |August 22nd, 2013|Today's Blog|Comments Off on Beware of Flamenco Dancers

Why be unhappy? Seriously.

None of us have time to waste being unhappy. We have to grieve. That’s a given; but eventually, we can choose happiness again … and usually, the sooner the better. “I don’t think we have time to waste being unhappy.” Helen in Everyday Sacred by Sue Bender The Helen quoted in the book above had just lost her house and everything in it to a fire. She had not, however, lost her attitude that something good could come from every circumstance of life … even something as devastating as losing all of her earthly possessions. She went on to say that the fire had made her more aware of what really matters in life, and that one of the gifts of the fire experience was that it “fine tunes my attitude about the remainder of my life.” […]

Mourning

You can find joy all around you again. And the journey you’ve been on makes it all the sweeter. “But in spite of setbacks, recurrences and the sense that our sorrow keeps doubling back on itself, there is an end to mourning, to even the seemingly most inconsolable mourning …” Judith Viorst, author of Necessary Losses It seems recently that Sandy Hook, the Boston bombing, the trial of the abortionist from Philadelphia bring mourning back into focus. And there are the personal sadnesses all of us face in our particular life situations.  If you’re living life fully and with love, mourning is always involved. […]

Divorce + Menopause

Are you going through menopause and divorce? Use this opportunity to create your new best life! Fifty is the New Fifty by Suzanne Levine Yikes!  Add the craziness of divorce with the craziness of menopause and our friends and family might be tempted to take cover!  If you're experiencing divorce in midlife, you [...]