Control Your Psyche To Cope With Divorce

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Control Your Psyche To Cope With Divorce

“Many people are in a rut and a rut is nothing but a grave, with both ends kicked out.” ~ Vance Havner

Dwelling On Negativity

During any time of pain, sadness, anger or fear it is easy to get in a rut. The more we dwell on the negatives of our situation, the more entrenched they become.

Believe me, I understand that all through a divorce, there are plenty of things to be upset about. It seems like every day brings something new to make you unsteady, angry or sad. The rut can easily become a deeper ditch day by day. Don’t let that happen. Deal with whatever you are facing, but don’t get stuck in a negative lifestyle.

Control Your Psyche

Stop talking about how badly you feel. The more you hear those words of woe, the more they become engrained in your psyche. The further your mind wanders, the harder it is to get it back under your control.

Try this today: put a rubber band around your wrist. As soon as a thought comes into your head that is making you stay stuck in the rut, snap yourself hard and send your thoughts somewhere else. Someplace uplifting, beautiful and refreshing. A place of renewal and strength.

Find Your Happy Place

I have a favorite place I love to fish. As soon as I start down a dangerous path of thinking, I take my mind immediately to my fishing spot.

I imagine the sun on the water, the smell of the pines, the feel of the air… what fly I’m going to tie on. Or, I think of a my children or grandchildren and pray specifically, at length for one of them. I often think of a favorite verse that gives me strength, and I give up trying to fight it on my own.

Be Thankful

We can control our thoughts. After a day of snapping your wrist hard, you do learn to immediately redirect your thoughts. There is no reason to let yourself fall deeper and deeper down into the ditch.

Remember, even though there are many negatives that come along with divorce, there are also countless blessings in our lives. If we have to get in a rut, lets get in the rut of seeing all the things we have to be thankful for, even now… especially now.

“The Lord is good. When trouble comes, he is the place to go!” ~ Nahum 1:7 (NIV)

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By |May 9th, 2017|Coping With Divorce|Comments Off on Control Your Psyche To Cope With Divorce

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.