“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ~ Ann Landers
Holding Out Hope
I have a feeling that a lot of you are just like me. Your marriage has become unendurable, yet you still don’t want to give up on it. The divorce process has begun, but you are still holding out hope that things may work out.
I was still hoping for a miracle, right up until the moment I signed the papers saying we were officially divorced. Even while sitting in the courtroom, I imagined him walking over to me and saying, “Let’s just go home and work this out.” …But it didn’t happen.
When It’s Time
Everyone on this journey eventually comes to the unfortunate realization that you have to let go. You cannot make your ex stay in a marriage that he is determined to leave.
Once you see clearly that you have exhausted all of your efforts… given him every chance … and have prayed all the prayers you can muster, and he still wants to leave, you will know it is time to move on.
Hope Amidst The Pain
Fully mourn what you have lost. Cry as many tears as it takes. But let me reassure you that God is working even now, in the midst of your sorrow and pain. Your life can absolutely be full of good things again. Good relationships. Good experiences. Good life. Good love all around.
The midlife divorce recovery struggle is not easy. In fact, it will be one of the most difficult things you will face in your lifetime. But when you emerge stronger, more beautiful and more full of joy on the other side, you will understand when I say that your new life can be beyond your wildest dreams. Hold on to it. You, too, will understand how true that statement is someday.
“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.” ~ Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)
do not dwell on the past.