Money After Divorce


All too often we become blocked and blame it on our lack of money. This is never an authentic block. The actual block is our feeling of constriction, our sense of powerlessness.” ~ Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

During a midlife divorce, money becomes a very central issue. Early in the process, we have no idea how much money we will actually have after the divorce is final. We worry about being forced to live on the street or move to a cheap apartment in an undesirable part of town.

We’re mad that we can’t give our children the things we think they deserve… especially now, and our wasbands are often in full-on “Disneyland Dad” mode (sometimes to make up for bad behavior). All of those frustrations add up to a lot of anger, angst and anxiety.

I was straight-up pissed off that just when our worries about money were supposed to be easing up, at age 53 I was going to have to start figuring out how to support myself. I had always worked from the time I was 14-years-old, and I genuinely loved it. But realizing I was solely responsible for my finances was intimidating… okay, at times, terrifying!

The feeling of not having enough was sitting on my shoulders more often than I like to admit. I felt a sense of powerlessness, because I was getting in the game so late. Up until this point, the money I made did not have to put food on the table or pay the mortgage. But the truth is, in divorce recovery, before we can do much of anything else, we have to figure out our finances. Everything I’ve read and heard makes me more sure that our material success depends first and foremost on our belief that we can be successful. That sounds simplistic, but it is absolutely true.

Before we can start creating our plan to be successful, we have to figure out where we’re at, even if the final numbers on our divorce aren’t in yet. So today, start keeping track of how you spend your money. That will give you an immediate feeling of power. Go buy a little spiral notebook at the store today. Keep it in your purse and write downevery single thing you spend for 14 days. That will at least give you a clearer picture of where you’re at. Getting control of our finances is one of the most empowering things we can do, so LET’S DO IT!

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” ~ Proverbs 14:23 (NIV)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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