Heal After Divorce by Helping Someone Else

2018-01-10T18:11:05+00:00

“My husband once challenged me by saying ‘You didn’t become a celebrity just to get free evening clothes, right?’  And he’s right:  I want to use my name, and while I’m at it, those free clothes I get, to do something good.”  Jane Kazmarak ~ Malcom in the Middle

When I read that, I thought, “Easy for her to say.  She’s got lots to share … money, time, fame. free evening clothes and a place to wear them!”  During my divorce I thought, “What do I have worth sharing?” My husband left. My children are getting more independent. My friends are busy. I don’t know how I’m going to pay the mortgage. I can’t even pay my own bills. What do I have to share?

Cathy Newton, in her book, Living in Full Swing, tells us a few things each of us can share even during this midlife divorce recovery journey. We can share: “Bright ideas; Helping Hands; Kind Words; Bits & Pieces (Little Things); Passion and Purpose.” Each one of us can share encouragement and optimism and good cheer. Share what you have. Share your time.  Share your ideas and good nature.

When we focus our thoughts on what we can give to others, our needs begin to be met as well. God tells us to put Him first and “all these (daily) things (we need) will be added to you as well.” We put God first by being kind no matter what, encouraging others even when we’re feeling weak, and helping, listening, smiling, and caring in hundreds of other little ways.

Make a conscious effort to share your bounty today. (And, yes, we all in reality have so much to share.) It’s that old, unfailing, spiritual law of sowing and reaping. What you do comes back to you. Good and bad. So make sure you are keeping that circle of goodness spinning in the right direction. When you have the attitude of giving to others, you understand how rich you actually are. That mind-set is self-fulfilling and God-blessed.

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
I Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

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Radical Recovery - By Suzy Brown

Transforming the Despair of Your Divorce Into an Unexpected Good
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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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