A Dirty Little Secret About Divorce and Hope

A Dirty Little Secret About Divorce and Hope

2018-01-10T18:10:49+00:00

The miracles that happen in your life after divorce are sometimes slow in coming.  Some years, spring takes longer to show up.  Most of us are still digging around in the dirt of divorce, and finding anything good in the middle of that, seems unlikely.  But believe me, good things are coming.

Here’s what Margaret Atwood has to say, “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”  During divorce, at the beginning, you’ll probably feel like dirt whether you smell like it or not.
In the Midwest, by the time spring gets here, I am always more than ready.  I am ready to get my hands in the dirt and start planting something.  We used to have a yard where I could grow lots of vegetables every year – corn, beans, peas, radishes, lettuces, spinich, onions, okra and especially tomatoes.  There is just nothing like the taste of a red, warm tomato right out of the garden!  And it all starts with getting in “the dirt.”

I agree with Margaret Atwood … that there is a wonderful, rich, earthy smell when you’re digging in the dirt getting ready to plant something.  But you know, getting in the dirt means getting dirty and sweaty and actively putting the seeds in their places.

What seeds are you planting today?  What is your harvest going to be?  As wise people have said many, many times before, “You reap what you sow.”  That is an immutable, unwavering law of the universe.  So as we are at the beginning of this incredible season of the year, this weekend, go to a garden store and get some dirt and some seeds.  Plant a pot full of lettuce … or marigolds … or whatever you want.  If you can’t plant a garden, get a big pot and plant something beautiful.

It’s also okay to get some annuals already blooming if you want to, but there is something spiritual about putting a tiny little seed in a container of dirt and in the end, getting some fresh, bright, green growing thing.  That process still encourages me.  It gives me hope.  It reassures me that the right things I do now will eventually bring a harvest of joy.

So let’s all take a trip to the garden center and get something to plant and then let’s watch the miracle begin.  And remember, sometimes the most amazing things happen when we can’t see them.  So be patient!  But keep watching.  Keep expecting good things to happen, and I guarantee they will.

“There is a right time for everything:  A time to be born, a time to die;  A time to plant, a time to harvest.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.