Rebuilding After Divorce: Letting Go Of Toxicity

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Rebuilding After Divorce: Letting Go Of Toxicity

“I once had a garden filled with flowers that grew only on dark thoughts … but they need constant attention. One day I decided I had better things to do.” ~ Brian Andreas; author, artist, storyteller

Weeds

My daughter and her children planted a small plot in a local community garden. Each child picked what they wanted to grow and they carefully planted their selections last weekend.

Weeds surface quickly. In fact, I went over to help my grandchildren water their new plants yesterday and I noticed that the garden was already laden with them. Weeds take vigilance to keep in check. If you don’t get rid of them early on, they will completely overtake the plants you are trying to grow.

Toxic Emotions Destroy

A garden is a great metaphor for our lives. If you let the toxic weeds get any foothold, they quickly displace the plants you want to grow. Similarly, if we let our hearts become overrun with toxic emotions like discontent, bitterness and hate, we cannot grow toward healing.

Though experiencing hard and raw emotions is natural and a necessary part of the midlife divorce recovery process, we have to be careful to not dwell too long in those dark places, because it will destroy us. 

New Hope

If our weeping and ranting and raving aren’t doing us any good, why not let them go sooner rather than later? It takes so much energy to maintain negativity.

When you can finally let it go, you will have room for a different kind of garden… a garden of beauty, new hope, bright dreams and peace. The new shoots of joy will start sprouting up before you know it!

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do your best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” ~
Philippians 4:8 (The Message)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she’s been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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