” … there are occasions when it is wisest to drop all pretense of appearing supportive, and instead to trumpet your independence and self-reliance. This pose of independence is particularly important for those who need to gain respect.” – The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
During your midlife divorce journey there comes a point when you must stand up for yourself. You must forget about trying your best to smooth things over and make things easy for someone who is hurting you and especially if they are going down a weak, destructive, immoral road that is destructive all the way around.
I am all for treating others kindly and with respect. We are commanded to do so. But that means myself as well. When someone is consistently doing wrong things …. things that have a harmful affect on me and on people I love, I can with dignity and power separate myself from that person.
I can show my independence and my own personal confidence. I can demonstrate that doing right creats it’s own strength and surety. I can stop dancing around the destructive, even evil, things that person is doing and confidently say, ‘You and what you are doing are not good for me, and I need to move on to a place where I can be the person God created me to be.’
The reality is, when we make a stand for righteousness and decency, we ultimately find joy in better things, and we let those who are not good for us find someone else who is willing to prop them up.
“Don’t be naive. There are difficult times ahead. Some will love only themselves and their money; they will be proud and boastful, sneering at God, ungrateful to their parents and thoroughly bad. They will be hardheaded and never give in to others; they will be constant liars and troublemakers and will think nothing of immorality. They will be rough and cruel, and sneer at those who try to be good. They will betray their friends; they will be hot-headed, puffed up with pride; they will be lovers of pleasur rather than lovers of God. They will go to church, yes, but they won’t really believe anything they hear. Have nothing to do with them.” 2 Timothy 3:1 (The Living Bible)