“Life is accepting what is and working from that.” ~ Gloria Naylor, African American novelist and educator
The Apostle Paul in his letter to Timothy makes this statement: “Everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with Thanksgiving.”
He was specifically referencing food in this passage. Some people thought it was permissible to eat certain foods, and others thought it was sinful. Paul’s point was that we get easily distracted by the nuances of life, and forget to thank the Creator for everything He has provided for us.
Our Eternal Good
I don’t think we are expected to be thankful per se for our divorce. But we can be thankful for what God is going to do with it for our eternal good.
Divorce grieves God’s heart, just as much as it grieves ours. In fact, He designed marriage to be an everlasting covenant. But God has also granted us free will, and sometimes people exercise that freedom by making decisions that cause extreme pain.
We can’t do anything about other’s wrong decisions. But we can choose to be thankful because the big picture is that God has promised to use every single thing in our life for our good and His glory. Period.
Acceptance
So the key seems to be accepting what happened, and letting God use what happened. Like Gloria Naylor says, “Life is accepting what is,” and I would add, and letting God work from that. He will. In fact, He is already. Accept whatever it is today. Then celebrate and be thankful for what God is doing with it.
“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 3:16-18 (The Message)
As a Christian I felt at first I had let Him down and my family. At age 68 and 41 years of marriage my life crashed. My faith has brought me out of the pit for I know God’s love is unconditional. Forgiveness is what I’m working on. How could he just throw 40 happy years away. Three wonderful children and six grandchildren who he never talks to or sees.
I will have a future too with His will for my life.
Similar situation…44 years of marriage and I am 65. Just beginning the process, the statement about wrong decisions really rang true. Took me a while to realize my husband was willing to sacrifice so much to have this new much younger woman in his life. But he he is!
So beginning a new phase and excited about the possibilities! I will do a better job of finding a true companion when I am ready to try again.
Jean and Diane, I’m in the same boat 40 years of marriage gone in an instant. Now that the dust has settled and everything finalized the day-to-day of being suddenly single is sinking in and it’s not easy. Some days exciting, most not….
61 years old, married for 39 years. By this time next month I will be divorced–not a divorce that I wanted, but after his affair and a couple of additional damaging things, there was no going back. I often feel like I am just a shell, walking around, and speaking so that people aren’t worried. I am working on healing, but I stayed 3 mo longer than I should have, and there was quite a bit of damage during that time that is difficult to undo. If it weren’t for my children, I don’t know that I would be here. Some days I am relatively ok, and other days are just a sea of pain.