After The Divorce

“Watch. Wait. Time will unfold and fulfill its purpose. While we wait, we must not go unconscious. We must think and grow. Rejoice and dream, kneel and pray.” ~ Marianne Williamson

The Grief

In the middle of my divorce, sometimes I wanted to just go unconscious. I was in so much pain I was having trouble dealing with the reality of what was happening.

While trying to recover from a midlife divorce, we are often just washing around in a wild, uncontrolled sea of erratic emotions.  Time seems to stop. As we seek to figure out who we are and what our new life is going to be, we often become zombies just trying to survive from day to day. We walk around in a fog of disbelief and disappointment, fear and worry and more sadness than we can assimilate.

Growth Amidst The Pain

As hard as it is to realize, this time is crucial. Even as we are overcome with grief, important work is going on; we are growing. We slowly learn to rejoice in those very, very small things that keep us tied to this world because we feel as if all the big things of our life have been destroyed. We are driven to our knees because all of the earthly solutions have failed. I know all these things are true because I’ve been there.

But I am far enough away from those days that I know the other part of Marianne Williamson’s quote is also true. “Time will unfold and fulfill its purpose.” I think it’s purpose during those early dark days is to give you space to discover who you really are.

The lessons you eventually learn, though often agonizingly difficult while in process, make you strong and acutely aware of all the glories of this journey called “your life.” Watch and wait. Cry when you need to. Grieve fully. Then your purpose will become clear and your life will shine brighter than you ever dreamed.

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” ~ Psalm 37:11 (NIV)