Divorcing an Abuser

2016-08-09T10:57:33+00:00

“If we are abused by those who matter to us, it’s difficult to give up hope that eventually they will treat us well.” ~ Sheldon Kopp, Blues Ain’t Nothing But a Good Soul Feeling Bad

Abuse is difficult to define. It is subtle messages that you are not enough. It is a long-term lack of respect. It is demeaning comments. It is a continual lack of commitment to promises made. It is long-term, conscious physical, mental or emotional harm.

It’s hard to face the reality that someone we love is an abuser. We try to excuse it; we want to ignore it. We try to do better. We think ‘they are just going through a difficult time.’ And some of us, unfortunately, remain in the victim position for a lifetime (Kopp).

It takes courage to leave a relationship. It is painful to accept that things are not going to change. We can either endure the temporary agony of making the hard decision to leave and move on to a better life … or we can “go on complaining (and suffering) without changing anything” for the better.

Ending a long relationship causes heart-wrenching disappointment. But if the relationship has become abusive, what is the alternative? Move on to the new life God has in store for you. Ask for His wisdom. Get help. And do not be afraid to make the hard choice.

“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust from your feet as you leave that home or town. I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” ~ Matthew 10:14;16 (NIV)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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