Are you letting divorce make you bitter? Don’t!

2018-01-10T18:10:46+00:00

AAAHHHH! Adversity! Don’t you just love adversity?  Aren’t you just so happy to be struggling with the pain your divorce? Of course not! In a big fat word … NO!

Human beings don’t go looking for adversity. We don’t have to. We run from it.   But for all human beings, it always somehow finds us on it’s own. But here’s something I recently read about adversity: “Adversity can make you better if you don’t let it make you bitter. Why? Because it promotes wisdom and maturity.” ~John Maxwell in Attitude 101.    That’s the really amazing thing about adversity. It can be one of the best things that ever happens to us. Seriously.  (Don’t stop reading, please!)

Even now, during the holidays, when our divorce hurts the most … when everyone else is sending cards of their happy smiling families and we’re trying to just make it through until the 2nd of January without breaking down completely; even now we have amazing lessons to learn.   But most of us are so busy right now and in such pain that it’s hard to even consider that what we’re going through can somehow work in our favor in the end.  Research shows irrefutably that pain, suffering and adversity (even the gut-wrenching adversity of divorce) can make us more authentic and beautiful and strong in the end.   That’s not just psychobabble or positive thinking pretty talk. It’s the truth. All kinds of tests ranging through all different disciplines come to the same proven conclusion.  However, the key is that we somehow embrace our pain and use it to learn… to get wisdom…to get understanding….to discover what’s really important in this life.  Through this trip we learn that we can celebrate all the good things we still have instead of being bitter about all  the sadness and pain we’re facing right now.  It’s a choice.  Just keep these words in mind:  This will make me better not bitter!

So-called life disasters can be the turning point to an understanding of the ultimate goodness and beauty of life even with all of its wild (and sometimes agonizing) twists and turns. Since adversity is part of being human, we may as well use it for what it’s intended … to make us more beautiful and more sure and to give us the power to shine brighter than ever before. So don’t succumb to bitterness.  Grab wisdom, instead!  She’s available even in the middle of this ugly divorce and she can transform everything for your ultimate good!

“Above all and before all, do this: Get Wisdom! Write this at the top of your list: Get Understanding! Throw your arms aroung her–believe me, you won’t regret it; never let her go–she’ll make your life glorious. She’ll garland your life with grace, she’ll festoon your days with beauty!” ~ Proverbs 3:7-9 (The Message)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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