After Divorce: As It Should Be


“All is as it should be.” ~ Mindi Ellis, K.C. Star

Nothing Is As It Should Be

Because of where I am right now and the way my life has turned out, it’s so it’s easy to say, “all is as it should be.” But in the not-too-distant past, during my midlife divorce nightmare, I felt like nothing was as it should be. At times, I felt as if my life was the complete opposite of what it should be.

My husband loved another woman and wanted out of our marriage. Our children were confused, angry and upset. Friends didn’t quite know what to do with me. My family was having to love me along every day. And I felt discouraged, dejected, and disappointed in myself.

For most of my life, all had been pretty much everything anyone could hope for. I had a storybook life for most of those years. So I guess I was unaccustomed to deprivation and soul-wrenching despair.

“Take The Day Off!”

But now that my growing, refining experience is over, I can say that even a difficult detour into divorce despair was something that was meant to happen in a certain way.

I feel stronger than ever, my priorities are in a better place, and I realize that life has in it everything I need, even during times of doubt and struggle and outright agony. That comforting realization can happen to you.

The woman who wrote the article in the Kansas City Star, has a friend who keeps this note stuck to her mirror as a daily reminder: “Take today off, I’ve got it from here. –Love, God.” Today, let’s all “take the day off!” Let’s all realize that “all is as it should be.” We truly have absolutely everything we need even if it doesn’t seem like it on the surface.

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need!” ~ Psalm 21:1 (The Living Bible)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. PositivelyPam June 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm - Reply

    Very well written and precisely how we all need to think. God has a plan for us all and its not always what we want it to be – let go and let God.

    • Ridok August 5, 2012 at 7:01 pm - Reply

      I definitely cocnur that there is a bright side to divorce I have been separated from my husband for 5 years now and I am very happy. My 3 kids have come through it all extremely well as I maintain a good relationship with their father and never say bad things about him. I am so much happier now than when I was in the marriage.

  2. Gie August 5, 2012 at 5:51 pm - Reply

    Trust! Trust is a big part of it. How can you trust someone if the last perosn you intimately trust deceived you? I mean you got divorce for a reason. It is hard for me to see having any type of intimacy with anyone after being betrayed by someone that I thought I was in love with. It is hard, but it can happen. Through time, patience and finding the right perosn you can regain intimacy after divorce, but it just takes time.

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