“Asking for help calls on your faith … asking for support involves trusting … asking for miracles is instinctive and can be nourished.” ~ SARK, author, artist, incest survivor
We All Need Help
During a midlife divorce we all need help, but often times we are hesitant to ask for what we need, outright.
We think people know what we need. We are disappointed when people don’t make the effort to be more supportive. But often, all we need to do is ask.
Learning to Ask
Asking for help is hard; it takes practice. It takes admitting that we need something, and as women that sometimes feels like an admission that we’re incapable or dependent. But asking for help when we need it is actually a strength. Everyone needs support now and then.
Through my divorce I discovered that people were more than willing to help if I simply, straightforwardly asked for what I needed.
A bank president gave me a $20,000 loan that I needed until a payment came through after the divorce was finalized. A client agreed to giving me an extra weekend to work on a project. And a friend let me stay with her because I told her I needed to get away from my everyday surroundings.
God Answers Our Prayers
Ask God for what you need, too. However, be aware of the fact that what you think you want might not be what is best for your life. I asked God boldly for things that were almost miraculously fulfilled. But I also asked for specific things that I did not get. I think God listens to our prayers and takes what we ask for and turns it into what we really need.
I always tell God what I want, but I always say, too, “You know what I really need, so I am going to trust that in Your infinite wisdom and love, You will give me what will bring the most good into my life and the most glory to You.”
And, you know what, I have had some of the most incredible answers to prayer. Specific, undeniable answers, and answers that were far better than I could have dreamed for myself. So ask in faith. Ask boldly and bravely.
“Ask and you will be given what you ask for. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Anyone who seeks, finds. If only you will knock, the door will open.” ~ Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)
Sometimes you ask for help and just get kicked in the pants. Like when the church leader Who was offering to rally his men’s group to help me move withdrew the offer On hearing that my (not yet ex) husband Was transitioning genders. “You married him!” was his departing remark. It can be hard to reach out again after that kind of response.