Be great during divorce

2018-01-10T18:10:46+00:00

Divorce is one of those experiences in your life when we are overcome with our own troubles.  We”re sad.  We’re mad.  We’re hurt.  We’re enveloped with everything that is happening to us.  We become self-absorbed.  Mostly we’re just trying to keep from being sucked under this great torrent of overwhelming change,  and that means we do have a whole mountain of personal stuff we have to get done to merely survive.

But here’s a suggestion:  It’s taken from a book called Love the One You Love – 825 Caring Gestures.  “As we open up to others with our help, we find an expansiveness in our own lives and fulfillment in our actions.  We find, too, that when we take time to help someone else, everything we have to do gets done and we feel better, too.”

It’s an absolute law of life.  The more good stuff you share with others, the more you get back.  Not just monetarily, but in lots of other ways.  When you actively step out of your normal pattern to do something nice, even something very simple, the happier and more fulfilled you feel.  This is especially true when what you do is completely unexpected or completely out of the ordinary.

How about these ideas from the book mentioned above:  You stop by the same coffee shop every day … so learn the servers’ names.  Be interested in who they are.  When you go to the restaurant you often go to for breakfast or lunch, take a rose to the woman who works there every day.  Put some cookies or an apple on the mailbox for the mailman and tell him or her how much you appreciate what he does.  Make a plate of brownies for the trash men.  Leave a sticky note and a little box of candy on your desk when you leave your office, that says, “FOR THE NIGHT CLEANING CREW … THANKS FOR DOING WHAT YOU DO FOR US EVERY DAY.”    Send flowers to your parents’ caretaker.  And let’s don’t forget those people we live with day in and day out and compliment them for something good they do for us.

A few years back, I was trying to follow through on one of my goals to share more of my incredible blessings, so I gave $100 to a young man who was working a second (or maybe a third) job at the car wash I sometimes go to.  He and his wife had a two-year-old at home and had recently added twins to their young family.  I put a $100 bill in an envelope with a note that said, “Use this to get a babysitter and take your wife to dinner.”  It was one of the most joy-bringing things I did that year. For me.  When we choose to add good things to our schedules, we usually find time to do everything else we have to do, and we do it all with a lighter heart.  A joyful heart.  A heart that takes a break from my “poor me” thinking and recognizes all of the things I can choose to do that encourage someone else.

This weekend, lets be on the lookout for fun, caring gestures we can do to brighten the day of the good people all around us.   If you’re a member of the MDRcommunity, let us know any small, good thing you do for someone else this weekend!  Let’s see how much encouragement we can spread around in the next few days!

“Your care for others is the measure of your greatness.”  Luke 9:48b (The Living Bible)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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