Be rebellious after divorce

Be rebellious after divorce


Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.

~Lucia Capocchione, Art Therapist, Author

If you are on the journey of midlife divorce recovery; if you are trying to get over your sadness and despair and feelings of loss, you probably think play is a thing of the past. It depends a lot on where you are on your trip. For me, for more than a year, food didn’t taste good. And like the quote above, life itself didn’t “taste” good, either. I certainly didn’t feel playful. It was a struggle to get through the days.

During the grieving part of this ordeal, don’t try to push yourself faster than you can go; be patient with yourself; don’t feel pressured by yourself or by others to move ahead more quickly than you can. But start trying to find joy in the little things. Start being aware of small pleasures. Slowly you will find your way back to joy and laughter. Play sometimes is seen as a little rebellious and maybe immature. But research shows that more positive discoveries are made by those with a playful, lighthearted attitude than those who are overly responsible and cautious.

That’s why I encourage women just starting out on this journey of midlife divorce to figure out their “Radical Name.”   That in itself sounds fun and rebellious! It’s a small, but important step. You can figure out your own stage  name this way:  (It’s in the Radical Recovery book).  Your first name is the name of your first pet or your first doll if you didn’t have a pet (or just a descriptive name like fluffy or sparky).  Your second name is the name of the street where you lived during elementary school.  (If your street was a numbered street, pick a side street or just a street name you like.)  My Radical name is Frisky Ridgewood.  I love that name!  I think the guys at the gentlemen’s club will like it too, if I ever need to work there to buy groceries!

Take this one small playful step on the recovery path. If you already know your stage name, do something outrageous and playful in honor of your “stage personality” today! I’m already planning on some fun for Frisky today! And can you imagine Frisky with her head down and shoulders slumped?  No!  Frisky is Feisty and full of life!  What’s your R.A.D.I.C.A.L. personna?  Find out and be her all day today!

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

Acts 2:28 NIV

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. DJ June 13, 2012 at 8:37 pm - Reply

    What a great post, Suzy…I mean Frisky! For the remainder of the day (and maybe even tomorrow), I’m “Tigress Woodlawn”!!!!!! LOVE it. This is exactly what I needed today. Thanks for all you do – wish I would have discovered this site months ago.

    • Mauri August 6, 2012 at 9:50 am - Reply

      Most cases are settled out of court. If a bias extsis, and it very well may, it’s probably because we view as caregivers, and think of parenting as a woman’s job. Another reason could be that for the most part, ARE more actively involved in their mothering role than are in their fathering role, and can successfully demonstrate that to judges.My suggestion to is that if you want custody of your kids, start being involved in their lives PRIOR to the divorce.

  2. DJ June 14, 2012 at 9:17 pm - Reply

    Update…I had a bunch of errands to run today and I did them with my “Tigress” mentality (I even wore a animal print t-shirt, oh yes I did!!!). I must say I held my head a little higher, had a little pep in my step and I actually walked around town with a grin on my face! It felt great!

  3. Suzy June 15, 2012 at 12:39 am - Reply

    You go girl! I love the animal print shirt touch!

  4. Christy October 21, 2012 at 8:15 pm - Reply

    Love the read…..really needed this. Thank you

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