Be rebellious after divorce

Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.

~Lucia Capocchione, Art Therapist, Author

If you are on the journey of midlife divorce recovery; if you are trying to get over your sadness and despair and feelings of loss, you probably think play is a thing of the past. It depends a lot on where you are on your trip. For me, for more than a year, food didn’t taste good. And like the quote above, life itself didn’t “taste” good, either. I certainly didn’t feel playful. It was a struggle to get through the days.

During the grieving part of this ordeal, don’t try to push yourself faster than you can go; be patient with yourself; don’t feel pressured by yourself or by others to move ahead more quickly than you can. But start trying to find joy in the little things. Start being aware of small pleasures. Slowly you will find your way back to joy and laughter. Play sometimes is seen as a little rebellious and maybe immature. But research shows that more positive discoveries are made by those with a playful, lighthearted attitude than those who are overly responsible and cautious.

That’s why I encourage women just starting out on this journey of midlife divorce to figure out their “Radical Name.”   That in itself sounds fun and rebellious! It’s a small, but important step. You can figure out your own stage  name this way:  (It’s in the Radical Recovery book).  Your first name is the name of your first pet or your first doll if you didn’t have a pet (or just a descriptive name like fluffy or sparky).  Your second name is the name of the street where you lived during elementary school.  (If your street was a numbered street, pick a side street or just a street name you like.)  My Radical name is Frisky Ridgewood.  I love that name!  I think the guys at the gentlemen’s club will like it too, if I ever need to work there to buy groceries!

Take this one small playful step on the recovery path. If you already know your stage name, do something outrageous and playful in honor of your “stage personality” today! I’m already planning on some fun for Frisky today! And can you imagine Frisky with her head down and shoulders slumped?  No!  Frisky is Feisty and full of life!  What’s your R.A.D.I.C.A.L. personna?  Find out and be her all day today!