Rebound relationships are dangerous! Do not even think about getting involved until you feel confident and satisfied with your life as an independent woman. Do not feel rushed no matter how alluring his castinets are!
“Never get involved with a flamenco dancer, no matter how gorgeous, whether he is from New Jersey or Peru.” From Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer
Some of you may be at the point of starting to think about a new relationship. Some of you may be so lonely that you might get into a relationship that you know you shouldn’t. Some may be at the point where you, as one woman in my first R.A.D.I.C.A.L. group said, “I would like to just put a bag over my head and a bag over some guy’s head and just have a good ‘night in bed!’ (–not her exact phrase!) I was married for 33 years. That basically meant sex whenever I wanted it. But when you are suddenly divorced, you hunger for that part of a relationship. The companionship. The physical sharing. The closeness. Normal, natural, every-day wonderful sex. I think, mostly, we want to just feel okay as a woman. A psychologist who spoke on grieving at one of my boot camps indicated that women tend to fill up that lonely void with either, eating, spending or relationships. Common sense and the sad experiences of other women prove that “rebound” relationships or relationships based on physical attraction alone can bring unwanted consequences. Get yourself strong and confident first. Enjoy platonic relationships. Go to dinner with friends. Have coffee. But stay away from the flamenco dancers, the bar frogs, the guys ‘on the make.’ In our new situation, sometimes they are tempting … but stay alert. Don’t get into a situation that will not be good for you. You’re just recovering from that. Take your time. Use good judgement. Forgive me if I sound like a dorm mother, but if it will save you heartache, I’m willing to sound any way I need to. Note: (I read an article that said middle-aged men have more unsafe sex than any other male demographic… be smart and safe!)
“Keep your eyes open for spiritual danger …” I Corinthians 16:13a (The Living Bible)
Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.