Many of you may be reading this because your husband “cheated” on you. But the bigger questions we may need to ask ourselves is, “Am I cheating on myself? Do I value myself? Do I feel worthy?”
“Remember, when you put yourself at the bottom of the priority list you are cheating not just yourself, but also everyone around you.”
~ Dr. Phil
In the midst of this whole midlife divorce struggle, where are you on the priority list? I know that when I was in the midst of my divorce, my self-worth was pretty much non-existent, and I felt at the bottom.
My wasband didn’t think I was worth much. I feared that my friends thought something was obviously wrong with me “behind closed doors” or he wouldn’t have gone “looking”. I felt as if I didn’t really have a place at church in the middle of all of the couples and families. And my children had seen me at my absolute worst. So feeling valuable was difficult.
I had always been taught to put God first, others second and myself third. The God part is right; we need to put God first. But God also tells us that we are His precious jewels, His beloved children. Which means that He cares that we are cared for.
I believe that I should have stood up more firmly for what I needed in my marriage. I often conceded in an effort to keep the peace. And I almost always believed my wasband when he said I wasn’t enough.
You Have Value!
How much do you love yourself? Do you know that you are a unique, creation of God that has infinite value? I believe you can’t fully understand the value of your “neighbor” if you don’t grasp your own value. Because it is only when we really value ourselves that we can be what we need to be for others.
Be confident, strong, authentic and true to who you really are. That means standing up to someone who is constantly trying to bring you down. Allowing that to happen is not good for us, or for those we love.
“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second most important is similar: ‘Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.” ~ Matthew 22:37-40 (The Living Bible)
Reading your book and now reading your posts has impacted my recovery incredibly! Thank God for you! You’re an amazing woman!