“You must be present to win.” ~ Adair Lara, Normal Is Just A Setting On The Dryer – And Other Lessons From The Real, Real World
Taking Time To Grieve
After a midlife divorce, it is easy to just “check out” of life. It’s actually a completely normal reaction… for awhile. It is an important step in your recovery to set aside the time you need to just grieve.
But once you have spent the time necessary to get yourself grounded and doing the basics of every day life again, it is time to start re-discovering your joie de vivre
[ joy of life].
No matter what “disaster” you face in your days on this earth, it is necessary to be fully present in both the good and the bad. You need to face the pain. You need to appreciate every aspect of life, itself. You need to be present in the here and now.
Life Is A Journey
If you think that your life is over after the divorce, then life [along with all of it’s beautiful potential], will be over in a way. Likewise, if you think you’ll always have a second-rate life, you probably will. And if you think you will never be really happy again, you probably won’t ever find the joy that you deserve.
It’s easy for me to say these things now from where I am in the divorce recovery process. In the middle of it all, I personally felt an unexpected hopelessness that was very foreign to me. I was unbelievably depressed and worried that my life would never be very good again.
My goal is to shorten that time of distress for you. I have dealt with thousands of women who have been right where you are and have rediscovered that it truly is “wonderful to be alive!”
Remember, this is a process; life is a journey. And you will never win if you don’t fully participate. So take time to work through the pain, but as soon as you can, get back to life… full, wild, unpredictable, [but ultimately wonderful] life in all its ever-changing glory!
“It is a wonderful thing to be alive! ~ Ecclesiastes 11:7 (The Living Bible)
I just asked a Q about separating from an aisvbue husband that doesn’t care to reconcile. (He uses bully tactics says she’s a liar for breaking her vows)I don’t see how Jesus would consider this Ok.When Jesus came, Romans 6:14 says we are under Grace, not the Law.