My Teenagers Hate Me
The teenage years are particularly difficult on families. Teens are going through significant changes and have hormones rushing through their bodies. They may also be pushing back to exert more independence. At the same time, they may be particularly worried about fitting in with their social peers.
Often, teenagers feel the most resentment in many divorces. They feel like they are already going through enough and now this? They might wonder why their parents couldn’t have kept it together. They may resent having to spend weekends with their dad instead of their friends or suddenly having to worry about money issues.
After divorce, you may start to notice your teen struggling. He may be angry at one or both parents. She may withdraw from family contact, making it more difficult to create or maintain a healthy relationship. Teens may sometimes take one parent’s side and punish the other with poor treatment or disrespectful behavior.
Divorcing parents often finds themselves in difficult situations like “my daughter won’t talk to me after divorce” or “my son hates me after divorce.” While these are certainly challenging times, it is important not to give up. Your children still need you – whether you live in or out of the household. The best thing for them during this time of transition is to be consistent. Show up when you are supposed to. Follow through on your commitments. Minimize the changes in their lives as much as possible. Eventually, they will learn to adjust to the new normal, and you may even find that your relationship begins to flourish.
My Young Children Hate Me
Unfortunately, young children may also respond negatively to divorce. Young children have a tendency to blame themselves for the divorce. They may wonder if they had behaved better if their parents would have stayed together. At the same time, they may lack the emotional intelligence to understand how divorce may affect them or why they must suddenly go between two homes.
It is critical that you help your young children adjust to the situation. Some tips include:
Create a Co-Parenting Plan
Studies show that children of divorce thrive more often when their parents co-parent peacefully. It may not be the divorce itself that causes problems but the conflict between the parents. Work together to establish a solid co-parenting plan and reevaluate your relationship so that you focus on being a good co-parent.
Don’t Put Your Kids in the Middle
One of the best ways to avoid having your child hate you or your ex is to not put them in the middle. Don’t make them feel like they have to choose between the two of you. Remember that your ex is still your child’s mom or dad, so don’t attack or degrade them in front of your child.
Maintain a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids
Your divorce does not have to damage your relationship with your children. Focus on positive interaction, good communication, and problem-solving skills to help your children transition during this challenging time.
Instill Confidence in Your Kids
Help your children develop confidence and resilience by being able to depend on themselves. Provide positive affirmation when your child shows the ability to attack a problem in a positive way. Encourage your child to find ways to cope with divorce and manage their thoughts and feelings in a healthy way.
If you or your children are struggling after divorce, reach out for support. One or both of you may need the assistance of a counselor. A mediator can help you develop a cop-parenting plan. Divorced friends may be able to give you tips on how to make co-parenting run more smoothly. Parental education courses may help you understand better what your child is going through.
My Kids Won’t Talk To Me
A natural reaction to an impending divorce is withdrawal. Some children may ignore one or both parents. You may wonder what to do if you find yourself in the situation of “my daughter won’t talk to me after divorce.”
While this is normal, you may still want to find a way to communicate with your child. Here are some strategies that may help:
- Do something else – Don’t focus on the lack of talking. Instead, try to complete an activity together like putting together a puzzle, working on fixing up an old car, or assembling a toy or furniture piece. This will give you a bonding experience and may also help your child open up to pass the time. Your kid might feel more comfortable talking when your sole attention is not on them.
- Don’t lecture your child – Don’t try to tell your child how they should feel. Don’t minimize their pain. These actions can be very invalidating and may make it difficult for them to trust you with their feelings.
- Open up – Be a good example by explaining how you feel. Show that you can relate. Let your child know that you are there for them and available to listen if they also want to open up.
My Kids Love My Ex
Sometimes, parents might find themselves in the difficult situation of “my daughter hates me but loves her dad” or “my son hates me but loves his mom.” Kids may prefer one parent over the other because he or she gives them more things, doesn’t set limits, has bonded more with the child over time, is interested in the same things, or any other number of things. Remember that you want your child to love their other parent. Try to avoid focusing on their relationship and focus on your own. This is what you have control over. If you are consistently there for your child, have positive interactions with them, and encourage their relationship with their other parent, you will have a healthy relationship with your child. This is what counts. And, hey, you might even find the pendulum swing the other way in time.
While feeling like your child hates you is certainly one of the biggest challenges you can confront, just remember that children’s emotions during a confusing time are amplified. Focus on your relationship and they will be just fine.