Crossing the River of Divorce

Crossing the River of Divorce

2014-07-16T16:01:53+00:00

“Waiting for life to be lovely before you start to live is like waiting for the river to run out before you cross.”

I’m on vacation.  I’ll be gone for two whole weeks.  That’s the longest I’ve ever been gone at one stretch and I’ll admit it’s hard to let go.  Our family has spent one week in the same place in Wyoming for more than 40 years. We have all ages and we climb mountains. We help each other ford streams.  Sometimes someone falls into the water or trips on the trail.  We’ve had knife cuts that needed stitches, a fall in a deep freezing cold lake, altitude sickness that required a two day hospital stay.

I want life to be lovely all the time. I want everyone (especially the little ones) to catch fish.  I want adventure, but  I want things to go my way.  I want my children and my family and my friends to be heathy and happy all the time.  Of course, we know life is not like that.  Life is absolutely full of challenges, setbacks, trials and difficulty.  Some difficulties are small and some are huge like divorce.

I think when we quit expecting life to be just like we want it and realize that the troubles are just part of the whole scheme of things, then we can go ahead and live fully and joyfully in spite of the obstacles we face.  If we finally understand that the scary and cold and dangerous “deep waters” of life are just part of the fabric of life, we can wade on in.

One thing for sure, it’s always helpful to have a friend to hold on to, or a rope you can grab from the other side. After divorce, we have to find new fellow travelers.  We have to help those coming along behind us.  But here’s something really cool:   We can also have the confidence that God will not let our troubles destroy us. And another thing:  we can use the water experience to make us stronger and more confident than ever.  God has called us by name.  He wil not abandon us in the middle of the river, so step on out … the other side is amazing!  And the best fish are over there, too!

“But now the Lord who created you, O Israel, says, “Don’t be afraid, for I have ransomed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.  When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up — the flames will not consume you.  For I am the ord your God, you Savior, the Holy One of Israel.”  Isaiah 43: 1-3 (Living Bible)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.