Take Your Time, There’s No Rush
Here’s the good news! Sixty is the new 40! Divorce and over 60 dating is more common than ever, but the worst thing you can do is to rush into another relationship before you’re ready.
You need to take time to do the grief and healing work that’s necessary after your divorce before you even begin to think about dating. Figure out your own best self after a 60+ divorce has most likely beaten down your self confidence, especially if your ex-husband left you for someone younger.
Many women think to themselves, “I’m over 60 years old. If I don’t find someone quickly, I may be alone forever!” That’s not true. It’s better to get strong yourself and not rush into a second or third marriage that statistics say is more likely to end in divorce.
How to Start Dating After 60
The best way to get started dating after 60 is to Get Comfortable With Yourself! Your physical self is the best place to start, because getting healthy and fit is good for everything else. Emotions smooth out. You have more energy, self-confidence and optimism about the future.
Get Involved! Find those things that make you excited about life again. Interact in positive ways with others. Many churches and organizations have volunteer groups that stuff backpacks, load grocery sacks, or spend time reading to kids.
Get Positive! Get your self-esteem back after divorce by taking a class at a community center or junior college. Join a MeetUp group for something you’re passionate about. Get a part-time job or throw yourself into new projects at work. Have fun! Be Fun!
Get Brave! In finding romance after 60, we’re all pretty much flying by the seat of our pants! Being interested in life and solving problems in your community help make you a more desirable person. You’re more likely to come into contact with possible future partners than if you sit home feeling sorry for yourself, or if you feel desperate to find someone.
What To Expect
After my own divorce, I was out of practice dating to say the least! I hadn’t had a date with anyone besides my husband for 35+ years! When the sobbing and screaming phase of your divorce recovery is over, slowly start interacting again with safe family and friends. Rediscover what you love to do, and then find ways to do it.
One simple thing that helps is to start referring to yourself as single instead of divorced. Your divorce is in the past. You’re a stronger, wiser, more interesting woman after the life lessons you’ve just endured.
When you actually launch out into the 60+ singles world, Relax! Take a deep breath. It’s not a life and death matter if your first connections don’t work out. Remember, it’s not a judgement of your worth as a person if someone doesn’t call you back or respond to your “like.” Keeping your sense of humor is the best dating after 60 advice I can give!
Finding People From The Past
When you’re comfortable, tell your friends and family you’re thinking about dating again. Many relationships are the result of someone we know introducing us to someone they know who might be a good match.
A 60+ friend of mine had been introduced to a friend of a friend, and they have now been dating for almost a year. They are planning a wedding sometime in the future. Yea love and dating after sixty!
High school, college, and business reunions are a good way to reconnect. There are lots of stories of old friends finding each other at school reunions after decades apart.
WARNING! Do not get involved with someone from the past who is in a current relationship! Period! Do not become “the other woman after 60,” no matter what kinds of feelings are rekindled in you about an old boyfriend. That’s a recipe for after 60 divorce #2 or #3.
Online Dating After 60
After divorce as a senior, many of us are trying to rebuild our self-confidence after our ex often tried to tear it down. When I felt strong and positive again (after several years!), I realized that if I could find the right person, I would love to be in another romantic relationship.
One of the easiest ways to get started finding another relationship is to explore online dating (yes, even after 60!) We get to see “The good, the bad and the ugly!” My first bit of advice: be alert and go into this adventure with your antennae up!
- Watch for clues and discrepancies in conversations
- Never, ever share private, personal information
- Never get in a car with someone you have only met online.
- Make early dates in a very public place with lots of activity going on.
- Tell someone where you’re going, what time you’re going and when you are safely home.
- Be alert for scams.
According to FBI data, 82% of romance scams are on women over 50. The scammers spend months building a relationship only to break hearts and steal millions of dollars.
One common scam is veterans posing as online prospects. They use (fake) pictures of men in uniform. They are often “deployed unexpectedly,” and then later need money for an airplane ticket to visit. Be alert!
Even with the possible pitfalls, online dating can be fun. The whole process of posting your picture, your profile and answering personal questions can help you clarify what you actually want in your life. Try it. If nothing goes right at first, hit the pause button and try again later.