Even after all this time, I sit here crying as I write these words. I can honestly say that when I found out about my wasband’s affair, it was the absolute worst day of my life. It was like having an out of body experience. When my life fell apart, one of the best things that I did was join a local infidelity support group. Even two years later, I still enjoy the sessions. It is such a comfort to know that I was not alone in this experience. We have shared all our feelings regarding being heart-broken, thoughts of worthlessness, being distraught, quick to anger, raising our self esteem, and finally dating again. Dating is completely different in your late 40s when you have been married your entire adult life. I would break out in a cold sweat to think that I would have to start all over again.
All I can say is prepare yourself for no one is protected from this. I can’t even imagine going through this process, and not being able to financially support myself. It is one less stressor in my life. I do however worry about being solely responsible for taking care of my home for the very first time, and all the bills that come along with your new reality. Get out there and find the new you. The first thing I did when I filed the papers, actually it happened as soon as I left my lawyer’s office, was to sign up for online dating. With my long working hours, I just didn’t have time to meet anyone plus the bar scene has never been my thing. You will be able to breathe again, feel special, wanted, and attractive. Remember to not enter into a serious relationship right away; give yourself time to heal. Keep the relationships casual and fun and you will enjoy.
I was finally able to commit myself to someone, and he is very special. I can’t recall loving someone so much, and feeling the same in return. Even mentioning the topic of marriage makes me nauseous, but I know that this man will do anything for me, and that is all I need. Get out there, make yourself vulnerable, and you will meet the person that you deserve.
This guest blog submitted by Sandy. MDRcommunity members check the site later today and I will try to have the “Ten Essential Online Dating Safety Tips” posted. Online sites can be fun and a next step to recovery, but definitely be very careful out there! If you are considering going on to a dating site, please read the “Ten Essential Online Dating Safety Tips” before you do!
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