Finding Strength In Becoming A Decision-Maker After Divorce

2018-01-10T18:10:42+00:00

“The most important thing your judge must do is make a decision.” ~ Roger von Oech, A Kick in the Seat of the Pants

Indecision

Making a decision is hard for me. In January of 1970 I wrote in my journal: “Tension and anxiety come not with a wrong decision (for that can be corrected), but with indecision.” I have always had trouble making decisions. I prefer to delay it as long as possible.

I finally had to set a time limit on deciding to file for divorce. It took three years. I kept vacillating. I tried to honestly weigh all of the arguments. Big decisions like divorce demand a careful evaluation and should not be rushed. But eventually a decision has to be made.

I read an article recently that discussed how we have too many choices today, and it creates a lot of stress! In my day-to-day regular life, the hardest choices usually involve deciding between two things I want to do. I tend to err on the side of being too optimistic. I know what I want to happen, so I cover up the red flags that might contradict that.

Becoming a Decision Maker

Decision-makers (our judge part) need to be bold enough to look at the options, to weigh the alternatives, to look realistically at the potential outcomes and then, make the best decision we can at the time. And we need to set a time limit. If the process is too long, we lose our momentum. Even if we don’t have every single fact, or every last detail, a well thought out decision is better than no.

Today, lets evaluate the decision we have been putting off, and then just make the best decision we can and start moving forward. Plus if you regret your decision, you can always make adjustments along the way!

A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.” ~ Proverbs 14:15 (NIV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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