Amid everything that’s been going on with the coronavirus and the state of the world right now, we wanted to see if we could provide some helpful advice as you’re dealing with this and the challenges you’re already experiencing. Our Midlife Divorce Recovery team recognizes that our audience is unique in that you are already dealing with one of life’s great stressors – a divorce (pending or finalized). With that, fear and anxiety about a global pandemic may seem overwhelming to you. In addition to its own set of scary challenges, you may personally be facing increased loneliness, fear and worry due to isolation.
Getting through this unprecedented time requires more than just keeping our bodies safe; we also have to keep our minds and souls happy; we need to have a positive attitude so that we have the strength to face each day. That can be done.
If you have listened to news at all, you are already getting plenty of advice on how to lower the coronavirus risk, and what you need to have in your homes to get by for a few months while cities all over the world are implementing social distancing. We’re more concerned about helping you get and keep your attitude healthy while you are isolated.
Just to put staying positive in perspective to this situation, let me quote a famous psychologist, Viktor Frankl, “Everything can be taken from you, but one thing; the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
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How can we have a good attitude when the world is in crisis mode?
Frankl was one of the millions of Jews placed in Nazi concentration camps in WWII. The Hitler regime took literally everything from him: his wife, children, home, medical practice and all his worldly possessions. In camp he witnessed brutality of the highest inhumane degree possible. To survive, he was determined to find something that the Nazis couldn’t take from him. He decided that there was one thing that no one could take away – his ability to choose his own attitude – no matter how bad conditions became. Not only did he survive, but he went on to help countless others find a new way to be victorious instead of being a victim of circumstances.
A killing virus is no small thing either, and precaution, plus adherence to Center for Disease Control (CDC), World Health Organization (WHO), and local authority advice is imperative for everyone’s safety.
It’s most likely that we will all survive this. Most of us are not going to get the virus if we follow precautions. What we will experience is being stuck at home, inconvenience, major disruption to our normal lives, and possibly financial strain. None of that is easy, but it’s not loss of life, and it’s temporary. No one knows the length of time or extent of this disruption to life as we know it, but we do know other countries are getting through it with a return to some normalcy.
As a kick-off to increase your positive attitude, begin by redirecting your thoughts to work for you. How? Truly, we do need virus information, but we don’t need to be fixated on news all day long. Hearing about the pandemic repeatedly and not taking a break from it is more upsetting. So, pull away from the news and do other things.
We need to be more sanitary than usual, but we don’t need to panic over germs in our homes. We need to practice social distancing, but we can and should still get sunshine and fresh air from our own backyards, or even sitting by a sun-streaming window.
Go on a brain-changing, life-altering exercise during this unusual time we’re all in! This is your chance to practice embracing a POSITIVE ATTITUDE! It may be the most important thing you’ll do during this viral crisis.
Our Midlife Divorce Recovery Program has a one of a kind online community of sisters. In our MDRcommunity, there is full anonymity, and it is a safe, secure online space to connect with other women also going through divorce. Amazing stories, grieving, healing, and yes, humor, goes on in that place. We’d like to welcome you to join us to experience the power of the support of other women who understand.
While we’re taking stock of the good things we have in life, things we often take for granted, like medical staff, and good people who serve in so many ways, here are a few suggestions for activities that can keep you busy and happy:
Watch Movies ~ When you zone out with your good buddy Netflix, consider watching humor and more light-hearted topics.
Listen to Music ~ Dance wildly in your living rooms to your favorite tunes. Add Zumba!
Get Crafting ~ Try doing that project you never have time for. Or finish a project you’ve already started.
Play Games ~ Find some online games like crosswords, Sudoku, “Wheel of Fortune”.
Shop online ~ Stay away from crowded supermarkets and set up an online order.
Exercise ~ Find classes on YouTube. Stretch. Try yoga.
Plan ahead ~ What about that garden you are going to plant? Future recipes to make?
Organize ~ Get those files in order. Gather important papers. Totally clean your car.
Read ~ Try, “How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed” or other funny divorce books you can download.
Learn a new language ~ It’s free online at Duolingo
Start a journal ~ Try “The Book of Me.”
Enjoy virtual travel ~ Explore on YouTube.
Call a friend on Skype ~ If you haven’t done it before, figure it out. One rule: Don’t talk just about the virus to your friend, make the friend embrace POSITIVITY too.
Take a course to boost your earning potential – Look at LinkedIn Learning.
Explore downsizing, or just do a little Spring cleaning
Learn a new skill ~ making crepes, drawing, making your own notecards or candles … all on YouTube
Create a home spa ~ facial, manicure or pedicure, exfoliate, steam, spoil yourself.
Play with makeup ~ do a makeover on yourself = Smile! You are beautiful.
Watch TED Talks ~ on YouTube – find the humorous ones.
Explore Pinterest. So much fun and creative stuff going on there!
CLEAN, sanitize, wash windows, do all the once a year cleaning chores. One of my favorite things to do when I’m stuck at home is to wash the windows! I find that it’s a great way to get some exercise, and letting the sun in your house is good for you!
Find Ways to Keep a Sense of Humor ~ Laughter is the best medicine and even though things are serious, it is beneficial for you to find the humor in it.
We can get through this difficult situation if we stick together. Let’s support each other and try to stay positive. Keep in touch with the community of people who “get you”.
Take care everyone! “This, too shall pass.”
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I’m going through a divorce and find this Covid Pandemic and stay at home order a reminder of what it’s truly like being single again and doing this alone… day 8!
Just some background – it’s pretty text book case of spouse having affair. My husband said he was unhappy and needed to work on himself, so we separated. At that point we decided to live in two different homes. We spent 6 months apart and he sought out therapy for himself and conveyed he would give our marriage 100 percent of his focus and time when we got back together. Actually during this time and before the separation, he was having an affair and booking trips with this woman. I knew during our separation that he seemed especially distant and unavailable. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. My husband was once a doting. loving husband so the thought of him having an affair seemed far-fetched. The strangest part of this affair is who he chose – an escort with a long history of problems. You might think this was a temporary lapse in judgment but 2.5 years later he is still with this woman! My ex-husband to-be is a well-educated businessman. I was crushed by his deceitful ways. Honestly – I’m beginning to think no couple is immune to this sort of behavior. And while going through this terrible mess, my father passed away. Just a horrible time. After I found out about the affair, my husband left and never looked back. Although, as of lately he says he misses me. Anyway…the divorce will be finalized soon.
Now it’s Covid and we must stay at home. Many people are home with their families or significant other and I find it a bit tough doing this alone. I am a very independent person but this is lonely. I wonder what I would do, should something happen to me. Meanwhile he is with his troubled girlfriend. I know life is unfair…and things could be worse but going through this isolation made me realize how alone I really am… I try to keep busy but it’s still tough.
Hi Sharon
Tough times for you and other women out there in the same boat. I feel that this will be the time that you can make changes to your life regardless if you have a man or not. I have been a single mum for nearly 5 years now I was young when I fell pregnant and during my separation from my child’s dad. I had set up goals for me to achieve and it did help me a lot. One of the goal I continues do is to improve myself. At the start it gets lonely but I’m glad I had the opportunity to really get to know myself and improve the way I think(very important) the way I behave, present myself, and the way to parent my child in a healthy way.
Ladies it will be difficult at the start but you are stronger than you think, these are challenges in life that you need to walk through to become the person you will be in the future. Be aware of your emotions and the environment you put yourself into.
This lockdown – think of it as a blessing. Be thankful. Set goals, self care, be kind to yourself. Remind yourself everyday how beautiful you are and that you can through this. You are a great person and an amazing mum.
Take care.
I’m in the same boat Sharron. God is getting me thru this time and truly showing me an inner strength. Stay strong we can do this. God will handle the rest
I’m in the same boat Sharron. God is getting me thru this time and truly showing me an inner strength. Stay strong we can do this. God will handle the rest
This better be a big boat, there are a lot of us. I’m in it too. I’ve finally stopped lying to myself that somehow we can get through this stronger and together. God will never give us more than we can handle, we can do ALL things through Christ. Here are some others that gets me to not only get through my days but smile and singing.Also look up Karen Wheaton on face book. She has positivity coming through her like crazy.
Psalm 121, Roman’s 8:28, Jeremiah 33:3, Psalm 65:5, Ephesians 6, philippians 3:9, Isaiah 52:7, philippians 4:8, 2 Chronicles 20:15.
My prayers are with us all.