“AS A RULE OF THUMB: Adventures are not fun while they’re happening.” ~Peter Reimuller, Point Arena, California ~ From Never Trust A Calm Dog and Other Rules of Thumb by Tom Parker
When I read this quote above, I immediately thought about coping with midlife divorce. Even though ‘adventure’ is not a description I would have given that mostly agonizing experience at the time, I decided to look up the definition of the word just to see if there are any correlations. Here it is from Webster himself. “Adventure: a dangerous … incident, or a hazardous enterprise. To adventure is to risk, expose to danger. Adventurous is: requiring courage, fraught with danger.”
Our midlife divorce journey is very definitely an adventure by those definitions. Fraught with danger. Requiring courage. Full of risk. And, like the thought above, it definitely is not fun while it’s happening. In fact, it’s never fun even in hindsight. But adventures and troubles and challenges of every sort do make us stronger, more capable, more creative and empowered in a way that the easy life does not allow.
After you get through this midlife divorce recovery voyage, you will see exactly how much you’ve grown emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and hopefully you’re even in better physical shape. I know I don’t worry about the non-essentials like I used to. I am more compassionate and sensitive to the needs of others. I am more attuned to the wild nature of life itself. I was faced with extreme testing and extreme doubt and discouragement and fear … but I survived. And so will you.
Just like an extreme adventurer, where wits are tested to the max, victory is even sweeter because it heightens our awareness of everything good. The tough stuff makes us better and braver and more loving than ever before. For that we can be glad! Look at yourself as an adventurer today – even though the journey is not fun, before you know it you will reap the rich and radiant rewards of the struggle.
“So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though the going is rough for a while down here.” ~ I Peter 1:6