Finding Control During Divorce

Finding Control During Divorce

2018-01-10T18:10:27+00:00

“And life – especially in the crucible of a divorce – is really a continual series of decisions about how to act.” ~ Gabriel Cohen

Out Of Control

Gabriel Cohen’s statement, “a continual series of decisions about how to act,” sounds so in control, when everything that happens in a divorce is so out of control.

Almost everything in my midlife divorce experience either made me unbearably sad or unbelievably angry. I felt as if I was on a tsunami wave of emotion heading toward destruction.

The Spiritual Path

The things that Gabriel learned in his “buddhist path through divorce,” are also principles we find in other spiritual paths. The Bible is also full of advice and wisdom that will carry us through this tumult in an easier way.

Here are some of the profound discoveries found in multiple spiritual disciplines:

  • We cannot control the decisions of someone else.
  • We cannot always control our own emotions, but we can control our actions.
  • We can make the choice to act honorably always.
  • We can choose to do the right thing whether we feel like it or not at the moment.

You Have The Choice

These lessons in self-control don’t take hold overnight, but I, like Gabriel, have learned through this experience that I always, always have the choice to do right.

And that the principle of sowing and reaping always proves true. What we plant, whether good or evil, always returns to us. Without fail.

Choose Peace

Let’s all take hold of our own God-given spirit of power, love and self-control. Find your calm inner spirit, and decide to choose peace in every situation today.

I am not always inclined to do the right thing on my own volition, but when I surrender and let God’s Spirit of love work through me and in me, I can make infinitely better decisions about how to act.

“For God does not give us a spirit of timidity – of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear (or anger) – but (He has given us a spirit) of power and love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (The Amplified Bible)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.