“Overwhelm is an inevitable part of our initiation into the ranks of the financially enlightened.” ~ Barbara Stanny, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money
Overwhelm is an unavoidable part of midlife divorce — and not just because of the financial uncertainty and chaos.
So many changes are coming at us that demand decisions with vital, immediate and long-term consequences that we often feel paralyzed. The huge mountain of change we are being forced to climb overwhelms us.
Learning To Survive
So on top of all of the changes, we’ve got the “money monster” staring us in the face. First of all, we have no solid ground to stand on until the final divorce decrees are set in place, and that process can take months or even years. Then, when it is finally settled, we often have less than we think we deserve, and we’re left in a place of financial distress.
Regardless of how much we end up with, we have to learn to deal with it. We have to learn how to survive and then how to start moving to where we want to be financially. We can rant and rave all we want, but at some point we have to stop and seek to gain control of our future.
In times of overwhelm, taking small, simple concrete steps toward regaining control will give you confidence to take bigger steps. Don’t be discouraged amidst the chaos.
The Incubation Period
As Barbara says, ‘Overwhelm may feel like hell, but this period has a purpose. In the creative process, this phase is known as the incubation period. In the hero’s journey, it’s the time in the wilderness. ‘Most heroic journeys involve going through a dark place, ‘through mountain caverns, the underworld, or labyrinth passages, to emerge finally into the light.’”
That’s true of the financial part of this journey, and it’s true of the heroic journey of emerging from your midlife divorce into a life brighter than you ever imagined! In the meantime, wherever you are financially, be patient with yourself and with the process. But get ready for your own financial enlightenment and the prosperity that follows!
“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady and keep a firm grip on you. Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you will end up out in the cold — real losers. Those who worked against you will end up empty-handed — with nothing to show for their lives.” ~ Isaiah 41:10, 11 (the Message)
Take The First Step In Your Divorce Recovery