“Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.” ~ Jane Wagner, One of Lily Thomlin’s comedy writers
The reality of divorce causing stress hits you in the face as soon as the process starts. Nothing about a divorce induces calm or peacefulness. Everywhere you turn, there is something stressful to deal with.
Once I did a presentation about stress at a meeting of the Auxiliary of the Greater Kansas City Foundation for Citizens with Disabilities. I ended up talking about my favorite topic, RADiCAL living. That acronym could just as easily be for Rising Above Disabilities or Difficulties In Confidence And Love, as Rising Above Divorce In Confidence And Love. The principles are the same. Day-to-day living in the real world can be stressful.
I usually try to avoid phrases like “stressed out.” By using those phrases, we reinforce our problem. Instead of saying “I’m stressed out,” let’s say something like, “I’m finding solutions,” or “I’m growing through a challenge.”
Alvin Toffler, the American writer and futurist thinks most stress comes about when we are faced with too much change too quickly. We have trouble adjusting fast enough.
So divorce (and sudden disability) can both be prime candidates for causing more than their share of stress. The most important thing to determine about stress is what we are going to do when we inevitably find ourselves overwhelmed by it.
Take Care Of Yourself!
A great place to start is by taking care of your daily basics: getting out of bed, putting clothes on, eating well, and sleeping enough. There are so many small, common sense things we can do that will make a huge impact on our overall well-being. Breathe deeply, meditate, and exercise. Count your blessings. These are all great tools to help us deal with stress.
But for me, the biggest and best stress buster I have is knowing that I am not alone in life. I have friends and family and support from those around me.
I also believe I have access to the greatest power of the universe who has promised to be with me through anything and everything. Knowing that God is constantly available to me, always makes me breathe easier, because nothing I will ever face is an obstacle too great for Him.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)