Don’t Postpone Joy – (Especially In The Middle Of Divorce)


Don’t Postpone Joy – Especially Now

“Ever spent months, even years, of your life as if they were just a phase you were going through, an extended transition, until the time when your real life would begin?  Here are two simple rules:  Rule #1.  BEGIN AT ONCE TO LIVE.  Rule #2.  DON’T POSTPONE JOY.”
Landon Saunders, author – Life That Loves to Happen … no matter what happens

Especially in the past, when I was going through a tough, traumatic, terrible time (ie – my divorce!), I wasted so much time, so much life.  I kept thinking, “If I just get through this; if I just find someone else; if I make more money, If this or if that happens, then I’ll be happy.  I’ll start enjoying life.”

My only advice, learned from doing a lot of postponing at different times in my life, is that I’ve become better at enjoying life now.  This very minute!   Because I learned this very minute is the only one I have any control over.

As you read this blog, stop a minute and just be aware of the blessings all around you.  You can see.  You can feel.  You can appreciate a hot cup of peppermint tea or mocha coffee.  You have enough to eat.  Your children are not starving or dying in some relocation camp with no clean water.  You have your good mind, your energy, your imagination, your sense of humor  (get it out and dust it off!)

Plus you have the ability to choose joy … now.  And the most important thing of all is that you have God and his protection, his promises, his peace, his power …. his Spirit every single moment of every day and night.

Let’s all try to see the big picture every day for the rest of this year and find the goodness in it.  I am not making light of your struggle.  But don’t forget that within this very hour, this very day you have blessings all over the place.  You have an opportunity to start living fully now and to find  joy no matter what is happening.

Stop a minute and find some right now!  You can make your own joy, you know, in so many ways … be kind, help someone else, smile, be optimistic and hopeful …. shine your light. Sharing those gifts brings joy back to you …. and every little bit adds up.

Do it now … yes, even in the middle of this divorce … and all season long.

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”  Psalm 16:11 (NIV)

P.S.  Check out our Holiday Edition of the Divorce Survival Kit …. There are JOY tips galore for you and for those you love. Give yourself the gift of joy …. you deserve it and those you love will be glad to feel your joy, too.  If you haven’t already, go to and click on the banner or the Divorce Survival Kit Button.


About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. Moon December 12, 2015 at 3:44 am - Reply

    I wish it’s that easy even faking it in front of my kids are torture enough! Why does life has to suck! aren’t we suffering enough already as it is! why can’t life just be happy all the time time, why does any of us has to suffer this way 🙁 or depressed

    • Suzy Brown December 17, 2015 at 2:53 pm - Reply

      For me, I finally discovered that Joy is always a choice. We can focus on the crap in life or we can focus on the good things and whichever we decide to focus on is what we get more of. I totally understand that when really horrible stuff happens, it’s harder to keep walking toward the good in our lives instead of the evil around us. But every moment we pick one or the other and our present and our future reflect whatever we choose. Evil is here to stay in this world. Our job is not to become part of it, but to shine our little light in the middle of that darkness.

  2. Angela April 17, 2016 at 7:19 pm - Reply

    Wow!!! that’s really good advice. I appreciate that. I’ve been separated for 3 years now. He has moved on with someone else with a baby that’s 2 years old. I am really ok with that. I am ready to divorce and move on with my life and after 15 years of marriage, and separated for 3, I am ready. I found peace and happiness within myself and my children. Yes it is hard sometimes and I wish I had someone to share the load but I am ok. I take one minute at time.

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