The most important thing that has helped me heal from the pain of my divorce: knowing I am enough.
The hardest issue for me in my divorce was my feeling that my wasband chose not to work on our relationship but to leave me because I was not enough. That if I had been more (beautiful, exciting) he would have (stayed, worked harder on our relationship, loved me more).
The most helpful thing for me has been learning and accepting that I am whole already; I am enough. God created me whole and enough before birth. I will die whole and enough. All my experiences on my journey don’t add to, nor diminish my wholeness.
Love is the light that illuminates my way so I can see and embrace my wholeness. Self-love is the constant light, and God’s love is inherently unconditional and constant. I do not need to be more perfect to love myself or for God to love me; I am fully lovable already. He is with me always. At times I am more aware and accepting of my wholeness than at other times. I am free to choose to feel and accept it to a greater degree at any time. Others love me as they can, but their love is not as important as my own self love and as God’s love. Trust in others’ love and be open and accepting of it, but know that it is flawed, as is human nature.
My trust was betrayed by my significant other. While his choice hurt me, it did not diminish me, who I am or make me not enough. This choice was made by him and is about him. I choose to place my trust in God who created me and loves me beyond measure.
“So we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in him.” ~ I John 4:16 (NIV)
Submitted by Brenda
This is a great outlook about what a lot of people feel after divorce! Many people start to question themselves after they go through divorce, especially women, because women are made to feel as if they have to work harder than the men to keep their affection. It’s no secret that people’s tastes and preferences change, or that things happen in a marriage that cause discontent. This doesn’t mean that someone is inadequate. If at least one person fought for the marriage before it ended up in divorce, then that means that it was worth fighting for, and nothing worth fighting for can ever have been inadequate.
I can’t really awesnr your question but you are not alone, most of the western world is the same, you lose the house, lose the kids, lose over half of your future income etc etc Equal rights seem to be set by academics and are at there discretion . Even basic equal rights do not exist in most of the world, but you never hear them crying out about that. The worst thing you can be in the world today is a western male .