Defeating Fear During Divorce


“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.” ~ Katherine Paterson, author

The Unknowns

What’s in the dark places of your life right now? Who’s scaring you? What are you afraid of?

In the midnight of a midlife divorce, there are thousands of perils that make us anxious and afraid. Fear about the future makes it hard to sleep. The many unknowns make our mouth go dry and our heart thump deep in our chest. A complete lack of confidence makes it easier for us to find dread lurking around the corner.

Naming Our Fears

But you know what? We can’t let fear after divorce dominate our thinking or rob us of our courage. We need to identify and acknowledge our fears, and then seek to understand what they’re trying to tell us. Only then can we be proactive in making sure those fears don’t become our reality.

But what if your greatest fear did come true; what would it look like? Homelessness? Turning into a bag-lady? Being alone? If we begin with envisioning our worst case scenario, we can then devise the strategies necessary to survive if the worst does show up. You will realize just how many resources you have to prevent the worst from happening.

The Power To Overcome

When we are able to look our fear in the face and say, “I’m not going to let you paralyze me,” we can take some positive action and move forward in spite of our insecurity.

It’s one thing for us to make that statement of power when we’re afraid, but listen to this: God, the Creator, tells us over and over again: “Do not be afraid!” “Fear not!” “Don’t panic!” We have constant access to His power which is much greater than our own.

Stand firm on that reality, today! Nothing in the dark presently,  nor in the future, can stand against the immeasurable power of God which is available to each one of us.

“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.” ~ Isaiah 41:10 (The Message)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

One Comment

  1. Coco viola June 17, 2017 at 12:36 am - Reply

    I have a lot of fear mostly around being alone forever and never experiencing a loving healthy relationship with a man, I’ve never had that. I am TRYING to embrace this loneliness but it’s not working very well. I have lost friends, family, even a job I loved( not related to the divorce) I don’t WANT to be alone, I fill the time with worry and fear. I try to pray, I try to fill up the time with noise and books but at the end of the day I’m lonely and soooo bored. How do you embrace loneliness????

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