Love really just means doing good things for yourself and for others as often as you can. God honors that and the love you give always, always returns in one way or another. That’s a promise. Take it to the bank.

“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” ~Washington Irving

Today is the Friday before Valentine’s Day. Have you seen enough Valentine’s Day advertisements yet? We are grown women.  Intelligent, competent women.  Suddenly, around February 14th, we turn into fourth graders.  We want to be someone’s Valentine.  We know we shouldn’t be side-swiped because of this one dumb day … but early on we usually are.  I was.  I tried to be intellectual about it … above it all, but those first couple of years after divorce we revert to grade-school thinking …. Especially if your Valentine is giving flowers and candy to someone else. Regardless of how sophisticated or smart you are, I know you feel that pain of so-called “lost love.”  But remember, “love is never lost.”, ever. Love is something we decide to do.  Love is an action.

This weekend, go out of your way to do something good  for others.  Or for yourself.  Don’t worry about love being reciprocated.  Concentrate totally on the giving love part.  Maybe Sunday you can go to your place of worship and be embraced by the bigger love there.  Surrender yourself to it.  Or you can go to the bookstore and buy a whole stack of magazines you like and go home, put on your sweats and eat just things you like. Or spend some time redefining and clarifying your life goals.  Get yourself a piece of jewelry. (A R.A.D.I.C.A.L. bracelet!)  Go get yourself a fancy teacup and saucer and some special tea at a tea shop. Take candy to your grandkids.  Buy yourself the flowers you want. Love your way through the day. Remember you won’t always feel like this. If you are past the sobbing stage, call someone who is not and take her a pizza, some salad and a bottle of wine and top it off with brownies and ice cream and chocolate sauce. This feeling you have is making you more sensitive to others and that is a good thing. It is “softening and purifying” your heart.  I want to help you feel better, but know I can’t, really.  You have to do it.  Regardless of the date on the calendar, you always, always have the choice to love – so do it boldly and outrageously and with your whole, vulnerable, but brave heart!   You’ll feel more surely what it means to know God because God is love.

“Dear friends, let us love one another because love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of love and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”  1 John 4:7-8