“Understand this: Words are a dime a dozen. Action and demonstration are much more powerful and meaningful.” ~ Green and Elffers in The 48 Laws of Power
The “Right” Words
During my divorce and recovery, my older brother suggested I read the book quoted above. Parts of it are a little on edge, but much of it has wisdom that can be effectively applied in any situation, including a divorce.
In the middle of our midlife divorce recovery, most of us spend too much time arguing or trying to convince our wasbands to change their ways.
I know that I personally thought that if I just said the right words, my wasband would recognize his errant ways and come back home. Obviously, none of my words did anything except make me look foolish, especially if I lost my temper or started crying in the process of trying to make my point.
Save Your Energy
The truth is, what usually gets our adversary’s attention is simply acting in a way that makes a difference.
Green and Elffers reiterate that, “it does not matter in the long run whether the other person agrees with you – or if time and their own experience will make them understand what you mean. Save your energy and walk away.”
Get Off The Divorce Rollercoaster
Up and down and up and down go the arguers, getting nowhere fast. Get off the divorce rollercoaster and show them your meaning without kicking and pushing. Leave them at the top and let gravity bring them to the ground.
Your best arguments will most likely not change a thing. Apply your energy to making the changes you need to make in your own life to have the future you want.
“The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words.” ~ Proverbs 10:19 (The Message)