In A Hole


“…You are what is commonly referred to as in a hole. If you could find an actual hole deep enough and dark enough you would happily crawl off into it and sever all ties with life as you know it. But don’t you do it. Snivel a little and then have a fair-sized medicinal snack, and then get over it.” ~ Jill Conner Browne, The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love


If you are going through the midlife divorce process, chances are you have been in a hole at least once, if not a few times. There’s no avoiding the fact that sometimes we will have a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day,” or month or year.

Tammy (A Sweet Potato Queen) describes one woman’s experience like this: “…She crawled through life for months and months and spent all kinds of money on therapists trying to figure out what happened (he dumped her) and why (he was a squirrel), and what she could do about it (not a damn thing).”

Moving Toward Joy

Did your wasband decide he wanted someone else or a “better” life? Did you do everything possible to save your marriage and he left anyway? You are only left with two choices at this point: to get over it, or not.

I am living proof that you can get over it. Not only that, but you have a life full of more gladness than you can imagine waiting for you. So, crawl out of that hole, open up your heart again and seek the joy God has been preparing for you all along.

“Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy.” ~ Psalm 30:4b (KJV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. DJ July 10, 2012 at 5:49 pm - Reply

    Wow, this really hit home. I could hardly get through this without constantly wiping the tears. I’m in such a hole, pit, funk…whatever you want to call it, that’s where I am. It’s so hard to imagine that this will pass. I seem to take one step forward and two backwards. Ugh. Excuse me while I go raid the freezer right now – hopefully a big, fat bowl of ice cream will help.

  2. Suzy July 10, 2012 at 9:55 pm - Reply

    You’re going to be okay. I can already tell you are a sensitive, good person and you haven’t lost your sense of humor. (Mine was on sabbatical for too long!) And yes, yes, yes, this will pass. Just aggravating it takes as long as it does. From where I sit, you are doing better than you think. (And you’re such a good writer!) S

  3. BriarRose June 7, 2016 at 5:19 pm - Reply

    “Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy.” ~Psalm 30:4b (KJV)

    I know I wept for 24 hours straight and that was when I realized I needed to see my doctor. I was just beginning the divorce process and had lost my only marriage to my wasbund’s mistress. I had NO IDEA and no clue that he was unhappy at any point. It was devastating. But the information I found through Suzy’s programs really did help ground me and helped me to find my way through the mess

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