Finding Peace After Divorce


“Tension comes from not knowing the outcome.” ~ Randy Harris

Facing Crisis

I recently came across some notes I took from a lecture by Randy Harris at a Christian conference where I was presenting on divorce recovery. His talk centered around the subject of peace. 

The big question I left asking myself was: “Does being a Christian give me the ability to go through a crisis such as divorce or the death of a loved one, and still have inner peace?”

Peace & Grief

The fact of the matter is that no human being is peaceful 100% of the time. Even Christ himself turned over tables in the temple in rage, and didn’t shrink away from calling out hypocrites.

Going through a midlife divorce should evoke emotions like distress and anger. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you can’t grieve. But it does mean you can find peace again after the mourning.


So where does this peace after divorce come from? Randy argued that the reality of not knowing how things will turn out is often what destroys our serenity.

The truth is, that we can never know precisely how the day-to-day details of our life will unfold. Too many variables can affect what happens. Too many things come up that we never would have expected. Things like our divorce.

Where My Peace Comes From

Through the struggle of my divorce I have learned how big God’s love for me is, and that gives me the strength to trust Him with my life. I can live with peace no matter what life throws my way, because I know how things will turn out in the end. I may not know what my tomorrow will look like, but I know what my eternity does.

If you are a Christian, take heart in the truth that the ultimate outcome of our lives is secure, so it doesn’t matter if the daily details are in constant flux. God can and will bring good from even the most desperate circumstances, in this life or the next.

If you can live in belief of that, after divorce peace will find its way back into your heart. Don’t give your circumstances the power to destroy your peace and joy!

“And the peace I give you is not like the peace of the world, fleeting and insecure, but a peace that stands through all things.” ~ The Gospel of John

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. Renee Smith Ettline May 27, 2013 at 2:52 am - Reply

    I love this post. The chaos of divorce shattered my life and there were times I was not sure I could continue to hang on. The internal strife caused by divorce can be suffocating and peace did seem illusive for a while. Yet, had I not believed in God with all of my heart, I would have had no hope for a better future. Somehow I knew that He was hovering over my troubled waters just as he hovered over the chaos of creation. I cannot say I felt peace at every step of the way through divorce. I did not. However I got through divorce with hope for the future because I knew my future was in the hands of a loving God. For me that is critical to having true peace. It took faith in God and action on my part. I believe that working with God through divorce is like dancing with God leading. The dance is much smoother if you pick up your feet and follow. Believe…act in faith. As Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'”

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