Advice to someone starting this divorce recovery journey

Guest blog from Brenda

Trust was key to me.  Trust that you will be okay.  Trust that you will survive the pain that this journey inevitably will bring.  You have more strength than you realize.  You will come out on the other side a changed person.  You can choose to learn and use that knowledge in ways that enhance your life!  You have choices at every turn.  You can choose to be wiser, stronger, a better person as a result of this journey, or you can take the route that will bring yourself and others increased pain and bitterness for years to come.  Trust, figure out what you need on your journey, give yourself permission to ask for help and to take care of yourself and keep putting one foot in front of the other, trust God and others to help and support you.

I remember getting so frustrated when people would say you’re doing so well, when I felt so miserable.  If this is what “well” looks like, tell me what “awful” looks like.  At times I had to take solace in just getting up, showering, and going to work each day and not choosing self-destructive behavior.  But, how long was I going to have to be content to be doing “so well” when I was so miserable that I didn’t know if I could keep going.  I cried more during those times than the rest of my life (so far) put together.  I had to trust that I would be okay, I would survive.  The journey SLOWLY moved from heart-breaking pain, to surviving, to being content, to finally seeing (not just trusting) periods when life was good again.  For me there were no shortcuts around this, just enduring through it, one day after another.  But, trust was what I relied on in those times when I couldn’t see, or feel that life was going to be good again.  And you know, it was enough, I was right to trust, because life is indeed good again.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.  Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge.    Psalm 62:1-2,8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (guide and protect you).    Proverbs 3:5-6

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.    Jeremiah 29:11

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