More people are getting married after 50 than ever before. Our culture is more accepting of divorce, and so it makes sense that more people are marrying or remarrying in our 50s. A person whose spouse dies, is also more likely to remarry than not, so there are more “available” 50+ partners than ever before. The good news is, marriage after 50 can bring fun, security and adventure that sometimes doesn’t happen when we’re younger.
Marriage After 50 Statistics
Have you suddenly started seeing more 50+ dating sites advertised during your favorite television shows? You’re not imagining that. Senior online dating choices are everywhere!
According to recent “marriage after 50” statistics, Pew research , divorce for people in midlife has almost doubled since the 1990s. Part of this phenomena is because many baby boomers grew up embracing “free love,” or whatever it took for “my” pleasure. We’ve carried that demand for personal fulfillment into our lives after our marriage fails or our spouse dies.
Why Get Married After 50?
If you’re single at 50+, you’re likely still healthy and will eventually want to get married again. There are people who are so devastated and angry about divorce, they close their heart to finding love again, but for most people, that is not the case. Most midlife people remarry within four years after their divorce.
Speaking from experience, marriage after 50 can be just as exciting as marriage in your 20s or 30s. After all, 50 is supposedly the new 30! After 50, after a divorce, if we have done the healing work we need to do, we usually have a clearer idea of what we’re looking for.
When I married at 21, my list of “must haves” was different than my list when I remarried at 53. It was also easier to cross someone off of my list after 50 when I knew they weren’t marriage material! Life is short, and I knew what I wanted and wasn’t afraid to end a relationship that wasn’t good for me. I hear the same from women who come to us for help.
Love & Companionship!
After divorce or the death of a spouse, two of the hardest things to deal with are the loss of romantic love and simple companionship. The absence of those intimate daily connections with another human being after our spouse leaves is devastating to most women.
When our company did research a few years back, loneliness is one of the hardest issues to deal with after a 50+ divorce. We are experiencing a lot of loss around that time in our lives. Our bodies are changing … menopause and midlife crises sometimes wreak havoc on our physical and emotional selves.
Sometimes, that is what causes our divorce. Usually men, and now more women, are willing to break their marriage vows to deal with those challenges. That’s a cowardly way to deal with something that all of us inevitably face.
Other losses in our fifties include the fact that our children are more independent and leaving home. The “empty nest” is difficult after you have had a houseful of people for 20 or 25 years. Our parents are usually needing more help from us at this time, too. The loss of a parent, to death or dementia, is a serious adjustment as well.
Many people who divorce in their 50s are alone for the very first time. The loneliness can overwhelm us. After divorce, women feel desperate to find love and companionship to ease those losses of midlife. That is one reason some people get into marriage or remarriage too soon.
Loneliness emphasizes our need for companionship and increases our desire for marriage after 50 years old. Marrying at this age can seem terrifying, but, with good sense and self-confidence, and not desperation, we have a better chance than ever of a happy second marriage after 50.
Cost of Living & Finances
In our company’s research, we discovered that finances are in the top three issues of most concern to women after a midlife divorce. It’s less true for the younger boomers, but many of the over 50 women are less financially self-sufficient than younger women.
In my situation, My first husband and I got married in college. I worked to help support us while my husband was in medical school until our children were born. I was especially vulnerable after our divorce 33 years later. I was unprepared to financially support myself like I would have been if I had been following my own career path.
Most women after a 50+ divorce are financially at risk. About 25 percent live below the poverty level. Most women, among other things, want to find someone who can at least help pay the bills.
At the same time, many of the 50+ men are looking for a younger woman. Many older men are drawn to women below them on the economic scale. That’s why in my work every day with women going through midlife divorce, I hear so much about successful men running off with their massage therapist, their administrative assistant, a waitress or a nurse.
Most marriages and remarriages after 50 years of age aren’t based solely on the finances, but women, especially, will usually cross off a future partner who will not be able to support himself or help financially in the new marriage.
Second Marriage After 50
When I was first divorced at 53, I thought I would never be really happy again. It took me a long time to get myself back. I was lost under layers of sadness, anger, bitterness and fear, and it took me longer than I wanted to feel normal again.
In my 10+ years of doing midlife divorce recovery work, I have discovered that the after 50 couples who create happy second marriages are those who take the time to do the grief work and healing work that is necessary after the end of a marriage. Don’t rush it. Be kind to yourself and be patient with the process.
Living Together vs. Marriage After 50
It is definitely a trend among young people to live together before, or instead of, getting married. Some older people do that, too, even though most research shows that people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than couples who do not.
Unmarried couples living together are almost always having sex before marriage and that can dramatically change the relationship. It takes it to a deeper level, especially for women. If you are living with someone as opposed to just dating, It is more traumatic and complicated to end that relationship, but it’s still easier than splitting up after marriage.
Some older couples, who because of their religious tradition, feel as if they cannot remarry after divorce. Regardless of your situation, the question of whether to live together or get married is one question that you need to settle in your own mind before you even start dating.
Sometimes we are so hungry for sex and for the companionship and other intimacies of a relationship that we make decisions based on that, rather than looking carefully at the whole person we are dating.
PS – I read somewhere that middle-aged men are the least careful of all male demographics to NOT practice safe sex! Just saying!
How Long To Date Before Marriage After 50?
Read more about Dating After 50
My rules are: Do not date until you have done the grieving and healing you need to do after the end of your first marriage. A counselor told me to expect one year of healing for every 5-7 years of marriage. I said, “I don’t have that long! I might be dead by then.” Another said one month of healing for every year of marriage. That got me down to about 3 years.
Those long time frames are what encouraged me to develop a program that can take women through a structured program of healing that can be completed in one calendar year or even faster if you’re dedicated to the process.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author and relationship advisor, always said three years is the minimum time to date before marraige. For me, it was more like a year and a half or two years. I would err on the side of taking your time rather than jumping in too soon. Going through a 2nd or 3rd divorce, is something to avoid at all costs!
Finances & Future Planning When Marrying After 50
By the time you are thinking of marrying after a divorce, one of the things we encourage all women to do is to find out exactly where you stand financially. Many 50+ women did not take care of the finances in their first marriage.
Meet with someone who can help you figure out where you are financially. Go to a professional or find a community center or church that offers basic financial awareness services. Don’t skip this step of your after-divorce to-do list!
Before you marry, especially after 50, you must talk about your finances! And as hard as it is, you should have your financial histories out on the table with nothing held back. Meeting with an accountant is often a wise step to take.
Talk about savings and marital assets that you each bring to the marriage and discuss how they will be handled. Talk to a financial planner. Talk about taxes and Social Security and how those will affect your future financial stability.
Do not get married without a clear view of the financial situation you are committing to.
Should You Get A Prenup?
If you are thinking of marriage after 50, you should get some agreements in writing. Talk to your attorney and ask if he or she can put together a prenuptial agreement. You will probably need to get an estate planner involved if you have assets that needs to be protected.
Money is a hard thing to talk about, but your financial security and your future depends on both of you being honest and open about it before marriage. If you have assets you want to pass on to children or grandchildren, definitely get an agreement in writing that ensures what you want to happens, happens.
Pre-Marital Debt
It’s especially important that you find out about all debt, including bankruptcy, that might be affecting any future partner’s financial picture. End the relationship if anyone will not be open about his or her financial details. Do a background check if you need to.
Estate Planning
If you are thinking of marrying after 50, especially if you have money or assets of your own, you should definitely meet with an estate planner. If you have savings, IRAs, 401Ks, property or other assets, you must get professional help in protecting what you need to protect.
Most attorneys will have a list of reputable estate planners. Ask your friends and people you trust who they used for their estate issues. If a potential marriage partner is upset by you wanting to get this kind of help, run as fast as you can!
Conclusion
Getting married after 50 certainly has its share of complications and pitfalls. But the rewards of finding love again at any stage of life is worth the risk! Take precautions, but be open to finding that person who will bring joy and fun and all kinds of good things to your life. It happened for me and it can happen for you!
Where do people over fifty meet and socialize? When we were younger we met friends and dates in college. We already know everyone at church and most of them are so old and depressed.
hi Matt,
do what you love… activities… a new class at the local college. you will meet someone then that may resonate with you. this time in your life is about you and making you happy . All the rest will fall into place. Best of luck, Dawn
I like this article but I disagree with the “do what you love” approach. It sounds logical and practical but in ten years of life after single this catch phrase has never worked. I haven’t even met someone, let alone dated them. With four relationships including a serious one, all were through work. One was a bar (ugh).
Thank you Collette. I think it’s time to put that myth to bed. Just go out and do what you love will get you a lot of women friends, which is great. But to say that you will meet a male romantic partner that way is wishful thinking. It only makes the loneliness worse, when you wonder why you have failed where others tell you it was so simple to succeed.
Totally agree Malik, I have been a single woman since the age of 38 (when I divorced my alcoholic husband,) and plan on staying that way, the only men I have met are either looking for a sugar mommy or a nurse maid to pander to their needs, or are all about themselves…boooring. Thank goodness I am in a financial position to love them and leave them. Loving the single life
A women over 50 cannot offer much? That is your opinion of women not everyone shares it or maybe you feel as a women over 50 you don’t have much to offer. I got married when I was 51 years old and felt I had lot’s to offer, love, loyalty, great personality, active and fit and attractive and most importantly a carrying compassionate heart. I married someone with the same values and we are happily married for 7 years. Ladies if you want to get married don’t be discouraged go after what you want and don’t allow other Women who feel bad about themselves affect you.
58yrs old and loving marriage
I agree with Marie, women over 50 to me have more to offer than younger women. I’m over 50 myself. In general they seem to know more what they want, and are less uptight. They can offer experience and a perspective that younger women cannot. They can offer true companionship, a dog may be your companion but you can’t have a conversation with your dog (not a sane one anyway) or share memories or get advice from your dog.
Having found myself driven crazy by a loveless marriage for 10 years and realising the my kids would even be better off in a separated situation than enduring the tensions of moody silences and seething resentment between their parents (even after years of counselling) I have decided to embrace the next phase of life positively and enjoy love wherever I find it…with my children, my friends, my dog at work, and being open to a new relationship one day. I don’t think love is only for young people and I think love in later life can be more grounded in shared vision and companionship and affection without the intoxication driven by hormones and biogical clock that I felt in my thirties
Thanks for your comment. Sounds like you’re on the right path! Good luck!!
Thank you for this positive comment ,I am 52 years old and getting married in a few months, I have found true love and happiness and I know we will have the rest of our lives to be together. May GOD bless your marriage
Should you divorce a man who is loving and financially responsible but disinterested in sex
This is my question as well.
Why have sex if you don’t want to have a baby? Oops. I’m an ace. It’s up to you. How important is sex to you? Only you know what you “should” do.
Is a man disinterested in sex because a woman is old, overweight, and wrinkled?
Disinterest in sex may stem from a variety of issues. I’ve managed ED for the past five years and discovered that regardless of managing weight, exercising and avoiding alcohol I continue to deal w/ this issue. Pills and injections work, but I have concerns about potential side-effects and as such take them rarely. This issue impacts self esteem and seems to be having a snow-ball effect where by the less you have sex, the less likely anyone within marriage initiates intimacy.
wait til menopause and you will no longer be interested in sex either
Wow it is a whole lot of bitter people in the world…
I agree with Marie. I am a widow and I don’t feel or act my age. I enjoy every minute I am with my partner. We so much in common ans now after almost 4 years are talking about moving in together. We are taking it slow to make sure we get it right. If you want something you have to work hard to achieve it and this includes a relationship.
Best advice ever. I was married twice and the happiness wears off in a nanosecond. One for 25 years and we raised a family, which made it worthwhile, but I watched her turn into a walking talking nutcase. After the divorce I did the stupid and married a very hot younger woman. Man, it was the lesson of my life. I jumped out of that in 2 years and 12 years later she is married and still calling me. Since that divorce, I have dated a lot of women. They are all over me and will even go so far as to say I am the love of their life. I have been called for the dreaded set down and lets talk routine 4 times. It is always the same as they must have read the same book, lol. The big ultimatum, I am leaving if we are not getting married. I have found to be patient and give the lady one year, the reflect on how the relationship has changed. Never ever remarry. I am fortunate enough to have a pretty lavish life, so I am pretty sure I will have women knocking on the door until I die.
Perhaps the quality of women you are attracting is reflective of the fact that you are a total jerk
Wendy, perhaps he was honest. Evidently he has money and knows that is what is most attractive about him to women at this stage in his life is what he can financially do for them.
it has often been said that older men are only are interested in looks, nurse and maybe a purse but older women are not interested in sex only want companionship and wallets.
Couldn’t agree more but this comes from being married at 20, to an abusive husband for 12 years of marriage…2 of which didn’t count because we weren’t cohabiting. I didn’t go back with him after we spent Christmas with MY folks. There were Red flags early in the dating period that I unfortunately thought would get better. I should’ve listened to my gut. Now fast forward, 55 a 24 year old son, with many issues, a 1 year old son, living with his girlfriend with a daughter (who I love as my own grandchil) but with so much dysfunctional family issues I don’t get to see my 1st grandson. It breaks my heart on so many levels. Anyway, I was seeing someone last year that was good but really bad the majority of the time. I have serious health issues (Autoimmune diseases that stress will cause them to wreak havoc. My latest diagnosis is early lung disease, a non smoker) After the Covid19 was in full swing I reached out to him just to find out if he and his family were well, with that it turned into a “leg back into a relationship” again, on his part. I live in another state but said we could talk, keep in touch and take things as they came. I’m Catholic and had specific boundaries that I had made long before we started to talk last year. I wasn’t going to make the mistakes made whenever I was young. Being a mature Catholic woman, there wasn’t a man who would convince me to go against my belief or Faith. I thought we were on the same level. He said I wasn’t more or less thinking about him or what he wanted as far as waiting during dating or even after an engagement. He was quick to make rash decisions and I’m the total opposite. He was diagnosed earlier this year with bipolar disorder which explained alot from last year. I NEVER passed any kind of judgment but just the opposite and encouraged him to seek help which was and still is with the Covid19 pandemic. He broke off the relationship once again. His reasons were that I was still wanting to wait, to include any kind of physical intimacy that would/could lead to anything further…I have been living with my elderly folks, Daddy will be 83 in February and my Mom just turned 78. They both have health issues…which was why I stayed. Now they’re talking about selling their home, uproot at their age health issues and all to Florida. I’m on SSD and have quite a bit of dept, have a car that I’m still paying on and will probably be my home. I have all of my specialists at Vanderbilt, and have alot of confusion due to MY health issues and causes my anxiety to skyrocket. I’m not quite sure of my future but I’m putting it in God’s hands. Stay Safe and God Bless you all❤
You’re about right. I’m 51 and have dated numerous women. I tell them from the outset that I’m not remarrying and it’s because I’m not offering a call option on my assets.
They’re welcome to join me in my life but I’m not going to put myself in the position where half of that can be taken away.
They say that’s fine, but go bananas after 9 months and totally lose their sh**.
I’m going to sail round the med on a yacht in my retirement, and so far that means I’m not short of female company.
Bingo
Why not date your equal or prenup. Seems that would solve the problem.
Yep! if a man has money, he will never be short of females
You must have been meeting some of these women from dating sites, and “if we don’t marry, I am leaving” sounds like you have been meeting women from developing countries?
I agreeMy Husband Was so lost and I was in my second marriage to him and his fourth to me..?
he became very physically abusive and was extremely obsessed with his demanding church were we met I ran from the osessive rules and finally filed for protection order and a two year later divorce. the biggest mistake is broken people believing they will heal and be abetter spouse this time ait cost me eleven thousand dollars to end my marriage and he walked with a house and an airpalne and a Corvette I praise the dogi idea My dog Died but she eriched my self esteem and gave me the hope of sharing my time life and bed. she never cheated lied gambled or hit me…she healed the bruises physical abuse but on my heart.. A person should never be engaged to a person while still saying there name and ex spose as we did we did that ..If you do not say my ex or former spouse you are not ready for a marriage a month away it is a reality check when a fifty year old man talks about his ex-wife like a high school boy with his first steady girlfriend. The books call it enmeshment also we very weary of a person who argues with you when you want to meet there kids and parents even if the are Fifty or over I was married at 38 and divorced at 50. Marriage does not heal broken people it gives them place to hide from society…I was former military female married to former military!
I don’t see much to any benefit of remarriage for the man. The only advantage early on is to raise a family. Try to give your kids a good two parent home.
Remarriage at this age is really a contract with too many outs. Back in the old days marriage was commitment. These days it can be ended within a day and finalized in three to six months with all kinds of financial consequences.
If marriage was real, I think it would be wonderful. But if you take it apart, it’s a very risky proposition that you can follow in these comments. If your wife gets mad, not happy about anything, and decides to leave, what then? And we are talking about being around ten to fiftheen years to retirement. Should money be spent divorcing and paying attorneys for us folks getting ready to reitire?
And they say prenups… Well those are getting thrown out more and more these days in the family courts. There are no safeguards anymore.
And I say this as I have given up on dating, I found that most women my age wanted to know where I stood in retirement plans after the 5-8th date. If I would be willing to relocate later on and sale my paid off house, and make some big investments to start a new future. And of course I look at it like, less risks. Less income soon, and these women are ready for the next 15 years like they just graduated college.
Quincy, I so agree. Its sad. I don’t think it’s right for someone to come along and take advantage of all that you’ve worked for all your life. And take advantage of a good soul. I have been there, and it’s devastating. I simply wish you well.
I believe the biggest reason for divorce is that couples are not putting God first in their marriage. They rush in before they really get to know each other. They don’t allow the needed time to become friends first and obviously not taking their marriage vows seriously! They meet at all the wrong places: like bars, where both are usually drinking. Umm. Can you truly know someone while under the influence of alcohol?? You can find true love again in after 50! You can find true love again after divorce! You can find true love again after losing a spouse! You can’t just go out looking for your fleshly desires… lust! I am not saying that there should not be physical attraction. Despite your faith, (if you have it) let’s be honest here. What’s the first thing you notice about a women, or man? Physical attraction! But… once you allow yourself the time to get to know that person, become friends first, you don’t care so much about their outer looks, their flaws, scars, wrinkles, their past. You learn to love that person for their inside beauty! Their heart! You learn to love the person they are now! They way they make you feel, they way they make you smile and laugh! The little thing’s… like: remembering your birthday, anniversary, (and, no! Irs not about lavish gifts! Its about remembering… saying “Happy Birthday” Happy Anniversary” your middle name, where you were born, your families names, your favorite color, your favorite song, your favorite flower. All these thing’s will last a lifetime if your heart is in it. Both of you will get much older one day, but if you truly love them that won’t matter! Bottom line, too many people are trying to choose their own life partner. Trying to take control out of loneliness and desperation! Give it to God and He WILL send you a Godly man, or women. Be patient. In His perfect timing!
Can you please stop all the god talk? It’s obnoxious, assuming, and offensive. If it works for you, great. Most people find it invasive when someone preaches. I am an ethical, loving person just because, not because of religion.
I am a ‘born again real Christian” but Teresa is full of crap … like many “Christians” they are completely disconnected from reality
Ms. Mundy, thank you for putting this conversation in a biblical perspective. That is exactly what is mussing from marriage. For those who find God invasive, that is your choice. Please leave others to theirs.
The best comment I read.
As a 50+ woman whose raised her kids & has her own home & handling her finances, it’s just as frustrating trying to contemplate marrying again after being in a 4 year relationship with a man that I just asked to consider pre-marriage counseling to discuss everything openly. And to be told he doesn’t need it as he’s been married before. Well very true but not married to me & everyone can benefit from counseling with someone who will help you discuss things that appear to be awkward. I feel uncertain about him laying everything on the table. We’ve lived together for over a year & it was brutal as we tried to blend families with his kids. Needless to say, it didn’t work & they were asked to leave. I stressed to him to finish raising his kids & if we were meant to be, I’d try & wait for him. He chose to stay & relocate one child as the others were basically adults 21 & 19. I thought I wanted to re-marry but now I’m more uncertain than I’ve ever been. So it’s not just older men not seeing the value or purpose of remarrying it’s also 50+ women who are bringing much to the table who also have a lot of reserve to fact of remarrying as well.
I’m with you Beth! If a woman is financially secure and has raised her family she has more to lose if she repartners with a man who still has children . Not only are the financial implications frightening but also a woman could be signing herself up for a life of looking after others.
No! By 60 or after menopause you won’t care. Cuddle. Talk. Play
that’s reality!
Perhaps it’s you that doesn’t much to offer and your bitterness exudes from your pores like a black cloud, scaring off any woman over 50 that doesn’t fit your negative description. You attract what you give off.
I’m delighted to hear that you never intend to remarry Malik. It’s clear to me that you are harboring many resentments and misinformation about women, 50 or not. Clearing you out of the pool as we good, financially independent, self sufficient women keep ours eyes open with the hope of sharing our lives with someone again makes the search much easier. Perhaps you can find a bar with other bitter men with whom you can commiserate on all of the blood-sucking women you’ve encountered.
YES! Go girl! I completely agree. Malik might benefit from a good therapist.Men who hate themselves, also tend to hate women.
You are saying that from a woman’s perspective, not taking into account men value youth and beauty, and women over 50 generally dont possess these attributes.
Boom! She dropped the bomb!
I respectfully disagree. Women over 50, have much more to offer than when we were younger, or other younger women. Wisdom, knowledge, more compassionate, understanding, has self-love, (therefore capable of loving other’s better) knows what they want and are looking for, (been there, done that… experience) more likely to be loyal, committed and can actually have an intelligent conversation. In other words, they have life experience. Not to mention, that many 50+ women (and that includes most that I personally know) looks just as fabulous as women in their 30’s. They can rock any outfit that a younger women can, they are in upper management positions, CEO’s, small business owners, mid-life models, (Yes! Our society is finally realizing that every day women want to see “true” and “real” women, of every shape and ethnic background, on magazine covers, billboards, etc.) professional bloggers. Hence: The type of mid-life women that doesn’t need a mans money! they are more likely to work-out, eat right, take care of their skin, mind, body and soul. They are virtuous, vibrant, adventurous, active, more financially secure. (despite what this article says in regards to that, which I totally disagree with that part!!) And… in the position to spend more time with their man/husband. Most of their children (if they have any) are grown, not living at home and not requiring much of their time. If you choose to stay single, that is certainly your choice. A dog, or cat may offer “some” companship, (I love animal’s, I loved all my fur babies, including the one I still have. Unfortunately, they usually pass before us and they have brought me so much comfort, love and loyalty after my late husband passed) but that type of companionship is not even close to everything that most men and women need. Perhaps you might be a tad concerned about what you can offer… I don’t know. Just something to think about…
I love your positivity… And agree with you. A bad relationship can take its toll on your sense of self worth… So I’m very keen to hear from people like you who are still feeling lovable ❤️
You are saying that from a woman’s perspective, not taking into account men value youth and beauty, and women over 50 generally dont possess these attributes.
Women over 50 has too much baggage?? Seriously?? Women over 5o has LESS baggage!! No one said that one could not be happy single, but with your current attitude, that may be a tall order. It sounds like it is best that you never plan to remarry, Malik. Apparently you are harboring many resentments towards the women in your past, which has led you to be totally misinformed about ALL women! Therefore, YOU have nothing to offer. I pray one day you open your mind, educate yourself on 50+ women, stop living in the past, look outside the box and end your negative thinking. Negativity will NEVER make you truly happy, whether you remain single, or not! God bless!
I think remarrying for the sake of it is not a good goal. Finding someone to love and connect with is my goal after I am done healing. I wouldn’t want to impose any expectation on him other than to be honest and be himself. I would want the same in return. The goal is companionship and understanding. That’s the way I see it. And if we both one day decide that it makes sense for us to marry, then that’s fine too. I would rather be spending time with people I care about than going through another divorce potentially.
I’m 54, divorced for over fifteen years, retired and dating a 51year old widower. We both have our own homes and one child still at home in both places over 21. We are planning to marry next year. We travel at least twice a year and have date night at least twice a month. He is still working and plan on retiring in three years. I look forward to becoming the Mrs. He tells everyone we are married already but of course the family knows differently, now we have set a date and his family is totally against it. He helps out a great deal with his grown siblings issues. Its just hard knowing they don’t want us together and he tends not to talk openly around them. Could this be a problem?
Wow! The male comments would put any self respecting woman off marrying again. What a bunch of biiter misogynists. I wonder though why if they are so certain they are dead set against it they are visiting this article in the first place?
Who hurt you?
As a wealthy investor I won’t date a single mom because she has already shown poor judgement. Single women are not all saints and can sometimes be far worse than the problems associated with single mothers. I often caution young men who work for me regarding single moms. When I see a tatted up and pierced woman I immediately rule her out also. She obviously has esteem issues that led her to deface her body and these issues will surface at some point. I don’t want her on my arm at an elegant event with colleagues and have all those tattoos exposed down her neck, back, arms etc… they just look trashy ladies so don’t do it.
There are men suited for single moms but in general single moms don’t want them but must settle for them, Beta males! These men will accept the job as cuck and provider for someone else’s children. A huge problem for single mom’s is also that many modern males have no drive for success. The adolescent millenial men who play video games all day, smoke pot and generally just want to do nothing are not good options even for single mothers. My advice for successful men is to avoid the #metoo problems and just set a sugar baby contract where you can have the company of a female when needed but not the expense or drama of having to deal with them all the time. This strategy is becoming more popular amongst the older 40’s – 60’s wealthier men. Be sure to have the arrangement drawn up by an attorney so it’s airtight for you!
Not all single moms — are single moms of choice. My husband died when I was 38 and my son was 4. I have raised him, continued teaching, and will soon retire after 30 years of teaching. I have had former students who became teen moms and then went on to become college graduates. It is worth getting to know the person. Very few people walk through life without some difficulty.
Sounds like you are a narcissist or have issues with women.
To generalize and label people without knowing how they got there says a lot about you. The fewer women you date, the better.
If this was just put here just to get a response, very immature. BTW, I am a highly educated single mother, and not by choice. My soon to be ex walked out on us, after 8 years of marriage, was emotionally abusive and narcissistic the whole marriage. Because of HIS problem, not me (though I am not perfect but suggested we get help, etc. but his pride and his demons wouldn’t let him): sex addiction which leads him in prison with the possibility of being registered as a sex offender. Something to think about.
This comment is almost a year old, I hope that since then, you really have taken a hard look at your inner self and have gotten treatment for your past trauma with women or some other issues.
Where are the women who are equally successful, or more successful, than these men who are stuck in the mindset that they will have to support the “little lady”? I am seeing a wonderful man in his 50’s (I am 48) who is most definitely an alpha male and treats me as an equal because that is what I am. We each are active with many individual interests, have wonderful careers, own our homes, do not have debt, have solid investments and strong overall financials. Due to both of our children being in their late teens, we will not marry at this time. The upheaval it would cause in their lives is unnecessary. That is not to say we will not marry down the road, knowing that we bring not just equal financial assets but share the same values. Yes, he opens doors and treats me as a gentleman should. I am a lady, after all, and would not settle for being treated otherwise. If you find an intelligent, attractive, successful, and well balanced person who you get to know slowly and love deeply, why rule out making a real commitment? My mother remarried in her 50’s to a wonderful man and they had many happy years together.
Please stop portraying all woman as silly, gold digging, unstable idiots just like women, such as myself, do not portray all men as greedy, small minded, only out for one thing, boars.
There is no reason to get married!! Just get a sugar baby contract and have a sweet woman on your arm whenever t=you want and send her home when you want alone time. Tip…. avoid women with tattoos they have emotional issues that caused them to deface their bodies, these issues will surface at some future point! Also those tats look trashy when you try to take her to an elegant event and though her dress looks great the tats on her neck, back, legs etc. make her look like trailer trash!!
Capitalist….You are batshit crazy and totally offensive!
Only in your opinion, but I think he’s got a point.. lol..
IGNORE HIM!…HE’S JUST TRYING TO WIND PEOPLE UP AND YOUR TAKING THE BATE!
IF YOU CAREFULLY READ HIS POSTS, HE CLEARLY FEELS INADEQUATE AND BITTER! HE WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO GET A WOMAN….THAT’S WHY HE’S TRYING TO PROVE HIMSELF JUST IGNORE!
he is right tho
Nothing last forever and everything eventually fade.. Its not about how it start or how it go. Its always about how it end. Be happy with who you are first and share that happiness with someone that’s willing to accept. Second relationship and marriage will only work if you are happy yourself to start with
Let’s keep the language on this site respectful. We can each speak our truth in a way that is compassionate and helpful.
I am a 58 year old female. I have been living with a man for 2 years or rather he with me. I talked about us getting married and he said he never wants to marry. We started building a new house which he will pay for. My question is should I leave because he doesn’t want to marry him? Maybe I’m not the one.
Wow so are you just putting him up till the house gets built.You say we are building a house it takes more than money to build a house sounds like he had some unresolved commitment issues guard your heart and your time.
Agree!
My boyfriend and I have been living together for 4 years…sometimes I love him some not so much.
He is selfish and doesn’t treat me like I mattere yet he takes all over the world.. he doesn’t want to marry should I stay or should I go
Truth. The screwing you get ain’t worth the screwing you’re gonna get.
Don’t ever get married she will suck every dime you have out of the bank account! Sex will be terrible, again this is so she can wrap her fingers your neck and squeeze you dry. And when you develope erectile dysfunction she will cry and moan and will want a divorce and steal all your retirement and SS leaving you with nothing and possibly living in a card board box under a bridge down town.
reality!
Nowadays unfortunately most single women have just too many very high super standards which is why many of us single men can’t meet a good woman today at all. Funny how most women back in the past were the very complete opposite of today, and very easy to meet as well just like our family members had it.
As a woman nearing 50, I most often date men in their mid 30s – not only because men of their generation are less sexist and more considerate as lovers, but also because I have found most men of my generation to be sexually and emotionally coercive, with many harmful sexist expectations baked into their relationships based on their parents’ relationships.
As religion becomes less mainstream, many people in Europe in particular are choosing not to marry. The expectation in previous generations has been that “’til death us do part” provides insurance that we won’t be alone as we age or when we are ill or dying. Given present divorce rates, to me it is more honest to acknowledge that having a community of friends and family (either by blood or by choice) is the only truly dependable safety net in life.
I have the good fortune of being financially independent, although my means are modest, and of having an empty nest. My time is my own and when I choose to spend it with someone, I do so because I like how I feel when I’m with that person, not because I’m waiting around for a ring or other outdated extravagances.
With respect to men my own age and older, I would be open to meeting someone who disproves my earlier statements but for now, I’m not lacking company, I’m sexually much more satisfied, and enjoy the appreciation that I receive from younger men who value my life experiences, insights, and sexual confidence.
enjoy the sex til you hit menopause then it will be all over!
The women today have changed completely since finding love today really isn’t easy at all for many of us single men very seriously looking. A lot of very high maintenance women everywhere since they just want the very best of all, and will never settle for less due to their greed and selfishness that they have nowadays unfortunately. American women are the worst of all since most of them are real gold diggers now, and will usually go with much older men for money which makes them real users and total losers to begin with.
A 50+ age is really when a person feels free to worship his/her God and enjoy spare time left in this globe.I am my 55 male but sexually active enough more than any time else.My marriage is 25 years and we have grown two beautiful daughters. The problem now is no thing else but my wife is ignorant of sex and very cool.At the end of the day I need to enjoy the sex but she is closed for that matter.I am am being tempted and wish what if I had a partner (young) who value sex in the first place. But I am in a religious position who are strict in the words of God. I am in temptation. What adivce you make for me??
Have you discussed this with your wife? the Bible is very clear on this matter. At the end of the day you made a covenant and this is your priority. A different relationship will not satisfy you. It is short lived pleasure. Please stay with your wife. You have my respect.
that is a huge reason why I don’t want to get married again (in my 50s) as it is better to be alone than in a typical post menopause sexless marriage.
Can’t generalize. Most married men complain that the wife wants more sex closer to menopause. Women hit there sexual weak very late. Hmmmm…maybe something else is going on in the marriage. Are you still romantic?
Women today have just too many very high unrealistic expectations now unfortunately, and need to grow very old all alone with a bunch of cats.
I’m sure you are bitter about your own experience but your comment is mean and not true of all women.
Correct – not all women … just 82.5% of them. Not great odds.
Women today for your information aren’t like the old days at all, that is for sure. Gee Wiz, it really has a lot to do with it why so many of us single guys cant find love. And if women were like the old days, then many of us guys would’ve been married with our family as well.
I just want to find someone normal.
Me too
I am a 55 year old female.
I work from home, so meeting someone at work his not possible, nor do I think it wise to mix your professional life with your personal life.
I went on the dating websites and was appalled.
Firstly , there are so many scammers who target older women. The internet can be a dangerous place.
Secondly, the men I did meet were so broken and seriously problematic that I would not know how to put them back together if I tried!
Statistically speaking, as we age, there are more available women and less available men…. and the odds stacked against straight women increase with every year….There are many reasons for this…
more men die of heart attack/stroke, more men die in wars, more men die in motorcycle accidents, more males die of childhood diseases than females , and there seem to be more men living a gay lifestyle than women who are lesbians…. and the list goes on and on….
Bottom line, if you are a straight woman, time is not on your side.
The fact is, many older women will find themselves single.
Society needs to change . It needs to be more acceptable for a woman to be on her own.
Single women are often stereotyped and marginalized….
There seem to be a lot of woman on this site who are determined to believe in fairy tales about finding a mate…I am not saying it is impossible, just not likely.
I’m just saying that I see some unhealthy desperation on this site.
Perhaps focusing on friendship and companionship and your interests is a better way to go. Ladies, stop putting pressure on yourseleves….. You can be happy without a man….it’s time to stop judging women by their marital status.
Divorced at 55 after 25 year marriage. Age 60 now, and seemingly all healed up and thinking straight again. I miss female companionship, and the physical side that comes with it. But, after 5 years of healing up, I’ve come to really enjoy being free to do what I want. I don’t see the point of partnering up at my age, because I feel more and more that we/I can tend lean on or get too caught up in relationships, and become less independent. Hormones and their drive are different at this age, at least for me, though I’m still interested and capable of performing. I know there are many out there just like me, male and female, with the same mindset as me. I would like to meet someone with their own life, who is independent, happy, and secure. People at my age are pretty cautious about who they let into their lives, and this isn’t conducive to meeting someone, sadly.
First take a couple of cold shower several before you ever start thinking about an affair! Have you had a serious conversation with your wife lately regarding her lack of desires! Maybe her hormones are in need of adjustment Maybe it’s you? Are you so wrapped up about having an affair Is there still Intimacy in your own husband wife relationship do you hold hands kiss, hug each other often! Do you fall asleep in each other’s arms at night on occasions still? Have you become a “stay at home couple?” Go out, have fun, get to know one another again. As we age we change, & if neither of you even know those new changes how would you be able to fulfill each others sexual desires
while making love, your strangers in bed & everyplace else…..counseling may help if your not sure where to start….The Bible has helped many couples, have the two of you ever read scripture together. If either one of both of these ideas aren’t your cup of tea. The Library has many books on this subject. These are the only third part you should consider bringing into your marriage relationship. Keep taking the cold showers until it’s resolved. Gods Blessings to you & your wife.